Error message

  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\HandlerList::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 32 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/HandlerList.php).
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  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Aws\Credentials\Credentials implements the Serializable interface, which is deprecated. Implement __serialize() and __unserialize() instead (or in addition, if support for old PHP versions is necessary) in include() (line 8 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Credentials/Credentials.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
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  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
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  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
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Entertainment

Lil Uzi Vert Releases ‘Futsal Shuffle 2020’ — A Song Entirely About Soccer

By Connor Fleming December 19, 2019
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Now I do what I want, now I do what I want.
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Last Friday, 25-year-old Philly native Lil Uzi Vert released the third single off his highly anticipated second studio album Eternal Atake. The song is entitled “Futsal Shuffle 2020,” which gives us more than enough loosely-based license to discuss it here at The18. 

After listening to the song — rave synths over a booming bass-loop coupled with a very strong desire to slide into your girl’s DMs — and pouring over the lyrics at Rap Genius, I wasn’t entirely convinced that the song had anything to do with the sport that fostered the talents of Brazilian greats Pelé, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Neymar. 

But it’s got a dance, and I’d love to see someone pulling this off while in possession at Wednesday night indoor league. 

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So I took another look at the lyrics and figured this was some Earl Sweatshirt kind of shit — layers upon layers upon layers of double meanings and subtly veiled references to the beautiful game. So here’s The18’s own breakdown of the lyrics. You’ll soon realize that the entire song is one long homage to pulling your hamstring on the turf field at Anytime Fitness. 

——————

[Intro]

Yo, sing this shit, are y'all fuckin' dumb?

The18: What MLS capos say to get a chant going.  

Gotta shoot two at her (Yeah)

Gotta shoot two at her (Woah)

Blue cheddar (Yeah)

The18: A reference to the two goals the USWNT put past Netherlands keeper Sari van Veenendaal. Blue cheddar further reinforces it as the Dutch make some excellent blue-veined Gouda cheeses.   

[Pre-Chorus]

That girl, she got with my clone (One, two, three)

I told that lil' girl that she gotta just do better (Woah)

The18: It’s ………Rebekah Vardy’s account.   

[Chorus]

Are you serious?

I swear my money get serious

Okay, all my checks, I just be clearin' it

The18: What City Football Group says after paying $75 million for a full-back.

She suck my dick 'til she get delirious (Wow)

The18: …Uhh… this is about the various sex rules that coaches impose on their players during the World Cup.  

Okay, jump on the jet, so I'm Clearin' it (Woo)

Okay, 'Port, but I'm not talking New' (Let's go)

The18: Lil Uzi Vert is calling attention to the fact that MLS players still fly commercial and also shouting out Maurizio Sarri's Newport smoking habit, which continues in the next line. 

Okay, smoke that boy just like a cigarette

If that boy try to make a false move, uh (Damn)

The18:  

————————

As you can see, "Futsal Shuffle 2020" is soccer’s answer to Finnegans Wake. 

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