FK Sloboda is a football club and not in the construction business. This was apparent Sunday when building a wall to defend a free kick against HŠK Zrinjski in the Premier League of Bosnia & Herzegovina.
Thanks to state-of-the-art microphone technology, we were able to pick up on the conversation that went on as Sloboda planned out its strategy.
“Everybody listen up. I have the best plan, the greatest plan, a better plan than any of the tacticians in Italy or England could think up.”
“OK skipper, what have you got in mind for defending this free kick?”
“A wall. We’re going to build a wall. A big, beautiful wall. But we won't tell our enemy what we're doing. It'll be a great surprise.”
“Great idea, who should go in it?”
“We’re going to make the best wall. I’ll put all my best men in it; I know the best men, the most incredible men.”
“OK sure, but where should we put it?”
“Right in the middle of the goal! We want it to be seen, we want people to be in awe.”
“But then our goalie can’t see. Shouldn’t we put the wall to one side where we need it most?”
“No, that sounds like fake news. Where do you get your facts? Are you CNN? Get him out of here. We need to put it across the middle, believe me. That will keep those murderers and rapists out.”
“Murders? Rapists? What are you talking about? We’re playing football here.”
“Listen to me. I know how to win. I’m going to get this country back to winning again. We’re going to build this wall. It’s going to be the best wall. And Mexico’s going to pay for it.”
“Wait, what? Mexic — oh shit they scored.”