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Philippe Coutinho seems to defy the laws of physics whenever he scores. That might not make sense if he was another player, but he’s not; he’s Philippe Coutinho: the man who cannot score an average goal.
Honestly, last year he made a habit of scoring from the other side of nowhere, and this year he’s just doing more of the glorious same.
As Liverpool toiled along Sunday morning, battling for the right to exact revenge over Stoke City for raining on Stevie G’s farewell parade, it was Coutinho that broke through.
The goal was just another example of how the smallest man on the pitch has an absolute rocket for a right foot. It seems like he shouldn’t be able to generate that much power, that doing so should cause his body to break down into its fundamental particles. Yet here he is still standing, or, rather, celebrating like an absolute badass; seriously, Mario Balotelli, the lost king of Badassery, said it best.
Coutinho’s goal is the kind that makes Liverpool fans worship the game of soccer. It was glorious revenge for the humiliation they all suffered at the hands of Stoke last year, and it was fitting that Coutinho scored it; if anyone can make one goal contend with six, it’s him.
It doesn’t get any better than this:
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