Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo number five.
BREAKING MASSIVE NEWS | So... you wanted Mambo No.5? Well we're giving you Mambo No.5.
— Ebbsfleet United FC (@EUFCofficial) November 16, 2017
That is Ebbsfleet United defender Yado Mambo, who some wily Internet sleuths discovered wears number, um, 18. Obviously this could not be allowed to stand. Mambo must be number five. If you're wondering why, here:
Mambo No. 5 was originally composed by Perez Prado in 1949. The Lou Bega (who today I learned is German, which I was not at all expecting) version came out in 1999, and it still bangs.
Unfortunately the arrangement isn't permanent, as Ebbsfleet United's captain wears No. 5 (if he was really captain material he would have given up his shirt number unprompted when Mambo joined the team). Hopefully Mambo's next club will be more self-aware.