A lot of you probably think beach soccer is a wannabe sport for wannabe athletes.
I’m here to tell you that you are wrong.
First of all, the sport relies on bicycle kicks and volleys for its scoring, which means that goals that might happen once every couple of weeks in “grass-ball” happen multiple times per game in beach soccer. Four words: bicycle kick hat-trick; that’s a real thing.
The thing about this next clip is, I should be nothing if not desensitized to beach soccer’s awesomeness. I watch highlights all day, not games, and its that kind of over-stimulation that makes porn turn men into limp noodles; it takes a golazo in the truest since of the word to get me going. And perhaps that’s just it; this next clip doesn’t just have one golazo, it’s got two.
OK, so first of all, the goalie just scored a volley from beyond midfield. Like, what person in their right mind allows themselves to attempt that? I am sitting here wondering if everything wrong I am doing in my life can be attributed to my refusal to take midfield volleys as a keeper because of that goal. And then Madjer goes and does his thing and I am absolutely certain that I have been blinded from some eternal secret because, clearly, scoring from midfield is what life is meant to be.
That Madjer, by the way, is a beach soccer legend. At the age of 38 he is still one of the best players in the world. He has won the FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup (Yes that exists — it obviously exists) once, the Euro Beach Soccer cup six times, and the FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup Golden Shoe 5 times. The dude’s a baller, he just does it on a beach.
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