Error message

  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\HandlerList::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 32 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/HandlerList.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Aws\Credentials\Credentials implements the Serializable interface, which is deprecated. Implement __serialize() and __unserialize() instead (or in addition, if support for old PHP versions is necessary) in include() (line 8 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Credentials/Credentials.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Command::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Result::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Warning: Undefined array key "nid" in views_handler_field_term_node_tid->pre_render() (line 98 of /var/www/html/docroot/sites/all/modules/views/modules/taxonomy/views_handler_field_term_node_tid.inc).
  • Warning: Undefined array key "nid" in views_handler_field_term_node_tid->pre_render() (line 98 of /var/www/html/docroot/sites/all/modules/views/modules/taxonomy/views_handler_field_term_node_tid.inc).
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News

Gruesome Photo Of Gouged Calf Of Stephen Ireland (Warning: It Is Not Pretty)

The18 has been struggling to come up with a formal definition for "agricultural football" for some time now. While we can draw on subjective turns of phrase such as "blood and thunder," "turgid" or plain old "sh*t," we wanted something quantitative; something categoric and objective.

And thanks to last season's Premier League tie between Stoke City and Hull City at the Britannia Stadium, we have it:

"Agricultural Football": A game which produces more stitches required than shots on target.

For reasons not entirely clear, Hull's Manuel Figueroa decided midway through the opening 45 minutes to gouge an inch-deep trench into Stephen Ireland's calf. As you can imagine when you look at the below, Ireland didn't emerge from the changing rooms after half-time, and is likely to be out for "any number of weeks" according to Stoke manager Mark Hughes.

stephen ireland gash leg

Photo @DavidFinlay8 | Twitter

But now down to the all-important numbers: Figueroa's "horror tackle" (the formal nomenclature) left Ireland needing a dozen stitches; 90 minutes of Stoke vs. Hull, meanwhile, produced just TWO shots on goal.

Which means we can now declare with the fullest of confidence that Stoke City vs. Hull City was officially, by a factor of 6, "Agricultural." We'd like to thank everyone involved at the Britannia for helping us nail down our definition, and may we wish Stephen Ireland the speediest of recoveries.

You can follow Robert Gordon on Twitter.

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