Has your friend been acting differently lately? Perhaps they’re not going out as much, have suddenly become a morning person or have started putting beans on their toast like an absolute monster. You might have on your hands an American Premier League fan.
If you notice your friend has any of the following five symptoms there’s a solid chance this is the case.
5 Signs That Your Friend Has Become An American Premier League Fan
5. Tweets At Ungodly Times In The Morning
gonna become a soccer guy. tweeting “absolute fucking disgrace” at like 7 AM before any North American should reasonably be reacting to anything.
— Cam (@matrixreloaded_) March 8, 2020
There’s never any context behind these tweets. You may never know what they’re talking about. What you do know is that you woke up at 10 a.m. like a normal person and your friend has four vague tweets from 4 hours ago that read:
“You’re kidding me.”
“Let’s go get in!!!!!”
“He’s absolutely blind.”
“What a waste man.”
4. They’re Unusually Good At Naming Flags
Don’t get us wrong there’s nothing wrong with knowing the flags of the world, but your friend has gotten a little too good at it. They sometimes just look for excuses to name as many flags as they can for you.
3. They Bought Peacock But Have Never Watched A Single Show Or Movie
Let’s get this straight. They’re paying upwards of $10 a month and they still haven’t seen The Office or watched a single Harry Potter movie even though they’re all right at their fingertips? Either they’re watching the Premier League, or they just like to burn money.
2. Literally Never Go Out On Weekend Nights Anymore
The excuses are getting ridiculous now. They always claim they have something going on and can’t be out too late. What do you mean your sister’s friend’s cousin’s goldfish’s funeral is tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. ET?
1. High Usage Of British Slang
They’re not English at all their grandparents are from Germany, why does this schmuck keep using words like cheeky, bloody and taking the piss? All of these British phrases are completely forced and don’t come out naturally with their American accent.
