Zlatan to Orlando City. Think about it. It could happen. It might happen. It needs to happen.
Reportedly, the club that currently employs Kaka and made a run at Chicharito Hernandez this summer is setting its sights higher (literally) and trying to persuade one of the best (and tallest) footballers in the world to play his club soccer just down the road from Disney World.
You just knew Zlatan was going to do something special when it was announced he would play against his first professional club, Malmo FF, in the Champions League group stage. It was never going to be otherwise.
Sure enough, with PSG up 1-0 thanks to a magic di Maria goal in the fourth minute, Zlatan delivered, with a tricky flick on to a cross that eventually found its way to Edinson Cavani's head, from where it found its way to the back of the net.
Zlatan was asked by PSG TV what superpowers he wanted. His answer, because he is Zlatan, was "i already have them."
So, we must speculate on which superpowers Zlatan Ibrahimovic possesses. This should be fun.
This is a public service announcement for journalists covering press conferences in which Zlatan Ibrahimovic happens to be speaking, especially journalists whom Zlatan Ibrahimovic doesn't particularly like: maybe don't ask Zlatan questions that will make him turn into a fire-breathing Swedish monster, throwing insults around like he's at the roast of Donald Trump or something.
It's here.
The Zlomecoming.
When Malmo FF made the Champions League group stage, Zlatan Ibrahimovic congratulated the Swedish team, his first professional club, and said he would like to experience the Champions League at Malmo some day.
That day might be here sooner than even Zlatan could have predicted. The Champions League draw was held Thursday, and Zlatan's Paris Saint-Germain were drawn in Group A. Malmo were also drawn in Group A.
Zlatan's full smartassery (a word we just made up) was on full display in this Bleacher Report video of Zlatan reading Zlatan facts.
For those unacquanited, Zlatan facts are akin to Chuck Norris facts (Zlatan beat the Mona Lisa in a staring competition, etc). Zlatan, it appears, is in on the joke, which makes the video even better.
The beginning of the video sets the tone:
Zlatan fans have something to get excited about.
Go to the link, watch the teaser then come back.
That was exciting, right? Now watch this one.
Yes, Zhowtime is a searchable Zlatan goal database. We can hardly contain ourselves.
Zhowtime will launch August 28.
Contact The18 Staff WRiter Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
Zlatan Ibrahimovic would like for you to buy his perfume. Zlatan Ibrahimovic made a commercial in order to persuade you to buy his perfume.
But, like everything Zlatan does, this is not your average commercial. It's not quite as insane as this commercial, but it does feature a #ZlatanFish.
It was all sunshine and rainbows for PSG on the field Saturday. The reigning French champions defeated Lyon 2-0 behind goals from Serge Aurier and Edinson Cavani. Aurier in particular was a revelation at left-back.
Off the field, though, was a diferent matter for the club, who look like they might lose star striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
"It could be that this was my last game for PSG," Zlatan said after the game.
PSG players, we are almost positive, are very athletic human beings. Soccer is a very demanding game that requires strength, agility and stamina, plus coordination and intelligence. They are good at soccer, as evidenced by the fact that they play for one of the best clubs in the world. They have dedicated their lives (so far) to soccer. And they should stick to it, because they are clearly not ready for other sports.