FIFA has finally taken corruption out of the beautiful game.
According to an Associated Press report, the word “corruption” doesn’t appear anywhere in FIFA’s new code of ethics governing officials and players. And that’s not the only shady new practice the AP revealed.
Keisuke Honda, one of the greatest Japanese players in the last decade, recently announced he was moving to Australia to play in the A-League with reigning champions Melbourne Victory.
But, despite signing for a new club, Honda was not done there. He has now just been announced as the General Manager of the Cambodian National Team. The 166th-ranked side now boasts a 2013 Asian Golden Ball winner sitting on its bench during matches.
When most mere mortals are out playing in the streets, they’ll casually yell something like “Pogba!” or “Ronaldo!” when completing some audacious pass or string of step-overs. But if you, like me, are invincible and legend, you’ll scream “Zusi!” or “Andy Carroll!” or “wee Joe Allen!” when you get stuck in or while you're riding the pine. These are proper footballers, conjoined by one common thread: They all have spectacular man buns (Zusi used to, but now he’s a giant fraud).
Mbappé. Pogba. Griezmann. Giroud.
These are just some of the players who starred for France during its most recent World Cup victory, and they are now household names around the globe.
Following relegation from the Premier League last season, West Brom kicked off life in the Championship yesterday with a 2-1 home defeat to Bolton. But it wasn’t an entirely joyless exercise inside the Hawthorns as the club unveiled it’s new mascot: a boiler. Boiler Man. Maybe Boiler Boy. We don't know the age of the boiler (yet).
There’s the boiler boy now, walking down the touchline looking awfully confused.
The Chinese Super League was home to some despicable scenes yesterday as Shanghai Shenhua striker Demba Ba was reportedly subject to racist abuse from Changchun Yatai midfielder Zhang Li. The former Newcastle United and Chelsea striker could be seen confronting Li in the 77th minute while Yatai striker Odion Ighalo — who spent three seasons in England with Watford — restrained him.
In a huge piece of investigative journalism, Madrid daily newspaper Marca reported the Cristiano Ronaldo Instagram account unfollowed Real Madrid on Friday. What a scoop!
More importantly, The18 can now confirm that Cristiano Ronaldo will not be back with Real Madrid this season, instead moving to Juventus. Because we all know a breakup isn’t official until social media accounts are unfollowed.
So, um, does any of this matter?
It’s been nearly 10 months since Bruce Arena resigned in disgrace as USMNT coach after failing to guide the Americans to the World Cup for the first time since 1986. The U.S. still hasn’t named a replacement.
All-star games should be about having fun, lackadaisical defense and offensive firepower. At least the MLS All-Star Game got one of those right on a record-breaking Wednesday night in Atlanta.
ESPN gave starting MLS All-Star goalkeeper Brad Guzan a mic and earpiece, allowing him to speak with the TV commentators in the middle of the match against Juventus.
It was stupid, gimmicky, dumb — and we absolutely loved it.
We weren’t the only ones who loved it.
I don’t know about you, but we like our United Soccer League action rowdy. We like the Las Vegas Lights, bangers from Efrain Alvarez and the plethora of ridiculous goals that were overlooked because the World Cup was going on.