WTF

A Tyler Adams Hockey Assist Is Only Like The 14th Reason To Watch These RB Leipzig-İstanbul Başakşehir Highlights

RB Leipzig traveled to Turkey to face İstanbul Başakşehir on Wednesday. American 21-year-old midfielder Tyler Adams played the entire second half and picked up a hockey assist and — you know what, that’s all I’m going to say about this game right now because you need to just watch the RB Leipzig-Başakşehir highlights in full (below).

RB Leipzig-Başakşehir Highlights

Done watching?

Good.

Real Madrid Faces Europa League Future After 2nd Defeat To Shakhtar Donetsk

As things stand, Real Madrid is out of the Champions League. Shakhtar Donetsk, for the second time, has defeated Real, this time by a scoreline of 2-0 at the Olimpiyskiy. 

Although now level on seven points in Group B, Shakhtar holds the head-to-head tiebreaker. Borussia Mönchengladbach could win the group later Tuesday by defeating Inter at Borussia-Park, an outcome that Real would probably accept at this point since Los Blancos could then host a disinterested Gladbach side on the final matchday. 

Guileful Gladbach Goons Launch Fireworks Outside Inter’s Hotel At 4 In The Morning

Inter Milan’s squad that traveled to Mönchengladbach didn’t get much sleep Monday night and Tuesday morning. A group of Gladbach goons can be thanked for that after they launched fireworks and other pyrotechnics at 4 a.m. outside the hotel where the Milan players were staying.

Here's How Different The World Looked The Last Time Schalke Won A Game

To the surprise of nobody, Schalke lost again on Saturday in a pitiful 4-1 defeat to Borussia Mönchengladbach. The defeat extended the club’s winless run in the Bundesliga to 25 games. Tasmania Berlin holds the all-time winless record in the Bundesliga with a 31-game winless streak.

Watch This Player Score The Easiest Goal Ever And Proceed To Celebrate Like He’s Some Sort Of God

Tuesday was a day of wacky celebrations to be sure. Myrto Uzuni mocking Cristiano Ronaldo’s signature celly was absolutely ridiculous. The question is, was Uzuni’s move as dramatic as this reaction to perhaps the easiest goal ever in the Polish Ekstraklasa?

Prepare yourself for the biggest mouthful of words you will ever read. Take a deep breath in case you are reading this out loud.

James Arthur Banned From Gambling Apps

English singer and 2012 X Factor winner, James Arthur, was banned from soccer gambling apps. Arthur told sources that he had some “massive wins”. The apps banned him after he won on numerous matches.

Player Dropped From UCL Game After Tantrum When Told He Couldn’t Sit In His Favorite Bus Seat

A squabble over seating arrangements on the team bus cost Club Brugge forward Emmanuel Dennis a place in the squad for Tuesday's Champions League clash at Borussia Dortmund, Belgian newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws reported.

The 23-year-old Nigerian stormed off the bus after being told he was not allowed to sit in his preferred seat due to social distancing measures amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the report said, and he did not make the trip to Germany.

FIFA Bans Head Of African Football For Five Years After Ethics Investigation

The head of African football, Ahmad Ahmad, has been banned from football for five years by FIFA following an ethics investigation by world soccer's governing body.

Ahmad, who is president of the Confederation of African Football (CAF), had intended to stand in an election in March in which he would have faced a number of challengers. FIFA said in a statement the independent Ethics Committee has found Ahmad guilty of offering and accepting gifts and other benefits, and misappropriation of funds.

Fulham’s Inability To Convert A Penalty Has Become The Story Of The Season

Fulham supporters will be forgiven for thinking their penalty takers are cursed after winger Ivan Cavaleiro became the third player to miss from the spot this season for the promoted Premier League side.

With his team awarded a spot kick while trailing 3-1 at home to Everton on Sunday, Portuguese Cavaleiro slipped in his run-up, kicked the ball onto his own foot and watched it balloon over the crossbar.

Cavaleiro Penalty Miss (@ 8:00) 

Orlando City-NYCFC Shootout Was Absolute Fucking Madness

What the actual fuck just happened? Orlando City beat NYCFC in a shootout in the first round of the MLS Cup Playoffs. We already wrote a story about the first 120 minutes of the match, which included some despicable play from Orlando’s Ruan, but the shootout was such madness it deserves its own write-up.

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