Sepp Blatter is a douchenoggle, I believe we can all agree on this. The former FIFA president oversaw decades of corruption in football’s world governing body before eventually being banned from the sport. But this dude can’t stay out of the limelight, as evidenced by another absurd Sepp Blatter tweet on Thursday.
Cristiano Ronaldo is an inspiration to 30-somethings everywhere. He shows us that despite no longer being the target market and despite no contemporary pop songs being written about our nightly hijinks (“I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 33” just sounds sad), we are still human people. We are still capable of launching ourselves towards the heavens like a SpaceX rocket before getting one over on those nasty, garbage bin 40-somethings in goal.
Last week, U.S. Soccer announced its first youth initiative since the USMNT’s World Cup failure. Bio-banding was presented as a new way to encourage technical development in youth players big and small. It was an idea put forth by the U.S. Soccer High Performance Department. But it turns out, U.S. Soccer should have just asked Facebook, because scores of our readers responded and apparently every single one of them knows exactly how to fix U.S. soccer.
AS Roma did it. The Giallorossi rallied from a three-goal, first-leg deficit to knock off Lionel Messi and Barcelona, 4-4 on aggregate on away goals. It was a thrilling win, with two players who scored own goals in the first leg making up for it with goals in the second leg. But perhaps more thrilling than the incredible comeback on Tuesday was the response from the AS Roma Twitter feed in the aftermath.
Manchester City may not have been able to do much in its Champions League match against Liverpool on Wednesday, but on Thursday they found a match that more appropriately suits the club’s tactics — a match for financial gain. The Citizens turned Tinder blue on Thursday, announcing a multi-year partnership with the dating app with a giant, sky-blue Tinder blimp.
We may have done it — we may have found the biggest fair-weather football fan on the planet. All it took was one incredible kick of the ball.
Football fans typically pride themselves in devoting themselves to a team. Normally fans will support two teams: their local club and their national team. Americans might add a European team as well, but typically the most dedicated fans focus on one or two teams.
Then there’s this guy, Moe.
Mario Melchiot knows more about football than you or I. He knows more about football than the both of us combined. A native of Amsterdam, Melchiot was a product of the legendary Ajax youth system, making his debut for the first team as a 20-year-old before transferring to Chelsea at just 22.
He played extensively in the Premier League for the Blues, Birmingham City and Wigan Athletic, as well as amassing 22 international caps for the Netherlands over an eight-year international spell.
So some giant Swede came to America last week and showed everyone how to do the soccer. Needless to say, people went nuts. Zlatan Ibrahimovic made his debut for the LA Galaxy over the weekend and made an immediate impact. Of course he did. The Zlatan debut goals had sports fans of all types absolutely buzzing Saturday afternoon.
Stephen Hawking, perhaps the most famous scientist since Albert Einstein, passed away Wednesday morning at the age of 76, a sad day for anyone who appreciates science (or the technologies science has given us, which is to say all technology). But on Wednesday afternoon, a tone-deaf Neymar Stephen Hawking tribute has us wondering if the Brazilian soccer star was mocking the British scientist.