*Warning to readers with even a shred of dignity: do not read any further if you are offended by any and/or all references to Steven Gerrard's penis. Thank you.
Chapter six of Steven Gerrard's new book, "My Story," starts like this:
"The magic of the FA Cup was ruined the day my penis was bloodied and then stitched shut on an unromantic night in Bournemouth."
On the official Tottenham Hotspur website, the club invites you to support the side because “in a world full of Uniteds, Citys and Rovers there is only One Hotspur - Tottenham Hotspur.” Spurs, undefeated in their last eleven matches dating back to the start of the campaign, are threatening to disrupt the established hegemony of familiar contenders.
Mathieu Flamini is about to save the world. Maybe.
In the sort of revelation that you don't normally see from footballers, Flamini revealed that he owns a biochemical company, founded in 2008 when he was in Milan, that produces acids that could potentially replace molecules.
Manchester United have been having problems at striker, with their only three options being possibly-over-the-hill Wayne Rooney, midfielder Marouane Felaini and 18-year-old Anthony Martial. That's why it seemed to many an unwise decision when they sold 27-year-old Mexican striker Chicharito Hernandez to Bayer Leverkusen during the transfer window.
Hernandez has been on fire for Leverkusen, scoring eight goals in his last six games, propmting one prominent Manchester United player, goalkeeper David de Gea, to question the decision to sell Chicharito.
Jesse Lingard has been called up to the senior England team in the wake of injuries to Michael Carrick and Jamie Vardy. The question is, what has he done to deserve it?
As we are in the midst of yet another two-week international break 12/38ths of the way through the English Premier League season (which Men in Blazers’ Michael Davies would insist we point out reduces to 6/19ths), we at The18 decided to look at the top five things that we have learned about the league so far this season.
Given his waning (sorry!) skill-set on the pitch, it's time to think about what's next for Wayne Rooney, and we have the answer.
If there was any speculation about the post-footballing job prospects of Wayne Rooney (there are some who would argue that his post-footballing job is Manchester United center forward), that needs to cease right now, because on Monday we found the perfect career for him: professional wrestler.
When we here at The18 think about all our self-made billionaire friends (we all have them, right?), few tolerate mediocrity. After all, you don’t accumulate enough cash to choke a blue whale through finishing middle-of-the-pack. You have to be ruthless, cutthroat and hold those around you to standards higher than Charlie Sheen hot-boxing a blimp.
Vlad Dragomir arrived at Arsenal in June, signed from ACS Poli Timisoara in Romania for £71,000 ($107,000). The 16-year-old Arsenal phenom was largely an unknown at the time, a central midfielder who liked to get forward on the ball and whom Wenger thought had a bright future. The only other thing we could tell was that young Vlad was a fan of posting copious selfies to his Instagram account (to be fair, what 16-year-old isn't).
If you wanted to know how to watch a live stream of Arsenal vs. Tottenham Hotspur online and on mobile, you’ve come to the right place.