West Brom is in a lot of trouble. The club is bottom of the Premier League, seven points from safety. But Alan Pardew and his boys are turning things around. The great West Brom taxi heist and McDonald’s rendezvous of 2018 is the ultimate team building exercise in football history. I believe it was John Wooden who said: “The team that commits crimes together, stays up together.”
Something caught my eye during Manchester City’s Champions League encounter with Basel on Tuesday, and it wasn’t Amazonian fish-frog god Bernardo Silva. I saw it on City’s Twitter page — a beautiful little animation of their own and Basel’s badges before the game.
Like a good sports hack reporter boy, I had to know more. Had they done this before? Yes. Had they been doing this since the start of the season? Yes.
Okay.
Here are 10 things Fantasy Premier League owners have experienced this season.
#1: You’ve held on to one forward for way too long, believing you personally have the power to will them out of their slump.
#2: “Knock — 75% chance of playing? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!”
#3: You tried to add a fourth Manchester City player.
#4: That manager that used their Triple Captain against YOU is a snake.
Of course Alberto Moreno is the best Liverpool player at training dogs. Alberto Moreno is like if a dog was a person. With this and his miniature golf domination of Firmino and Coutinho earlier this season, Moreno is quickly filling the "extremely good at random LFCTV competitions" void left by Lucas's departure (see the Fair Day obliteration for more details on that).
Ryan Mason, aged 26, has announced his retirement from football according to a club statement from Hull City. According to the club, “Ryan has sought the guidance of numerous world renowned neurologists and neurosurgeons who have all advised that a return to competitive football is not advised.”
It was a harmless tweet — maybe even a funny one. Before Chelsea’s Premier League match with West Brom on Monday, the Blues’ Twitter handle (@ChelseaFC) made a Star Wars joke centered around one of the space opera’s most lovable characters. But the Chelsea Twitter fans were having none of it.
Just to confirm, it's #CHEWBA tonight, not... pic.twitter.com/u8vctTuaez
This assist from Roberto Firmino to Mohamed Salah for Liverpool's second goal against Southampton is everything. After scoring the first via a Salah assist, Firmino returned the favor in style. The match ended 2-0 to Liverpool, with Firmino's assist the major highlight.
This @22mosalah goal is just pic.twitter.com/HRP8otVGwq