National Teams

Ronaldo Scores 700th Career Goal, But Andriy Shevchenko’s Ukraine Ruins His Big Day

Cristiano Ronaldo scored the 700th goal of his professional career, but Portugal’s 13-game unbeaten streak was brought to an abrupt end by Ukraine in Kiev on Monday. The victory secured qualification to Euro 2020 for Ukraine, and it was a continuation of the country’s glorious renaissance under the direction of 43-year-old manager Andriy Shevchenko.

It was Shevhenko himself who scored Ukraine’s last goal at a major international tournament — that coming at Euro 2012 — but based on today’s display, this is a team that will certainly do more than make up the numbers next summer. 

England Responds To Racist Chanting By Hammering Bulgaria 6-0

Despite having a portion of the Vasil Levski Stadium closed by order of UEFA for “racist behavior” from Bulgaria supporters during a June qualifier against Kosovo, the buildup for today’s match between England and Bulgaria in Sofia was centered around how Three Lions players would respond to the inevitable racist abuse that would come their way.

Another Meaningless Brazil Friendly, Another Bad Neymar Injury

It’s easy to get cynical about the Brasil Global Tour sponsored by Chevrolet, which is simply adspeak for the series of globetrotting friendlies that the Seleção contests in between Copa Américas, World Cups and World Cup qualifying. 

In the preposterously bloated football calendar, nobody likes a meaningless friendly. But what’s Brazil supposed to do during the international break with no qualifying stage for the 2020 Copa América and with 2022 World Cup qualifying matches not beginning until March of 2021?

Daniel James Was Using 4D Shithousery To Fake Brain Trauma, Says Ryan Giggs

On Sunday, during a crunch Euro 2020 qualifier between Wales and Croatia in Cardiff, there was a terrifying moment in the 14th minute when highly touted Welsh winger Daniel James — somewhat stooping to win a header in the middle of the park — caught a flying knee to the back of the head from Croatian defender Domagoj Vida.

For The Hundredth Time, Gareth Bale Comes Up Clutch For Wales

Wales and Croatia played to a mutually beneficial draw on Sunday, with Nikola Vlašić’s ninth-minute opener canceled out by Gareth Bale just before the halftime whistle in Cardiff. Croatia remains top of a tight-knit Group E and can secure passage with a draw or victory against Slovakia on Nov. 16, while Wales is now on a collision course with Hungary on Nov. 19 in Cardiff (assuming the Dragons take care of business against Azerbaijan on Nov. 16).

The Return Of The Dutch: Wijnaldum’s Brilliant Brace Puts Euro 2020 In Sight

It wasn’t a vintage Netherlands performance by any means, but the Dutch’s quest for a first major international tournament appearance since the 2014 World Cup remains on course following a 2-1 victory over Belarus on Sunday.

With two matches remaining in Euro 2020 qualifying, a draw against Northern Ireland in Belfast on Nov. 16 would ensure a return to the big stage for the Oranje

Eden Hazard’s Inch-Perfect Assist Is The Best Pass Of The Weekend

Following a 9-0 beatdown of San Marino on Thursday, Belgium became the first nation to book its place at next summer’s European Championship. Today, the Red Devils maintained their 100 percent record in Euro 2020 qualifiers with a 2-0 victory over Kazakhstan in Nur-Sultan. 

As the world’s top-ranked side, Belgium boasts an embarrassment of attacking riches. After netting goals 50 and 51 for the national team against San Marino, striker Romelu Lukaku was rested against Kazakhstan, but it was his replacement, Michy Batshuayi, who opened the scoring in the 21st minute.

World-Class Vision From Eriksen, Otherworldly Saves By Schmeichel Lift Denmark Past Switzerland

Christian Eriksen may not be having the best of seasons with Tottenham, but he’s still one of the most visionary midfielders in the game today. 

With his country hosting Switzerland in a big Euro 2020 qualifier, Eriksen reminded Spurs fans of the quality he’s capable of with a game-changing assist on Saturday. Aided by some huge saves from Kasper Schmeichel, Denmark scored a 1-0 win, with Yussuf Poulsen’s 84th-minute strike set up by Eriksen proving just enough for the home side. 

Chucky Lozano Gets Punched By Ref, Stamped By Opponent, Still Delivers For Mexico

Mexico opened play in the Concacaf Nations League with an easy 5-1 road win over Bermuda on Friday night. 

Well, it was mostly easy.

Chucky Lozano was the victim of an incidental punch to the face from the referee, an intentional stomp from an opponent and sliced a penalty kick off the post and wide. But the Napoli winger persevered to record a goal and two assists.

Mexico vs Bermuda Highlights

Early in the match, Lozano was getting up from a foul when the referee inadvertently smacked the Mexican in the face.

USMNT Cements Status As The Favorite To Win 2022 World Cup With 7-0 Thrashing Of Cuba

France? Naw. England? Pshh. Brazil? As if. 

Want a favorite for the 2022 World Cup? Look no further than the United States men’s national team after it throttled Cuba 7-0 on Friday night. 

Any team that can score four goals in 13 minutes against the 178th-ranked team in the world has to be the frontrunner for the 2022 World Cup. That 3-0 loss to Mexico last month? That was just a meaningless friendly, nothing compared to the intense rigor of a Concacaf Nations League match. 

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