Men

Jose Mourinho Already In Mid-Season Jose Mourinho Form

On Monday, Romelu Lukaku showed the world that he can still do goals by doing one against Real Salt Lake, but the real story of the night was the raring, caged animal that is Jose Mourinho. The Mind Games Master was exquisite during and after the match, foretelling of a season that will either end with him winning the treble or getting sacked by December. There are no other logical outcomes.

Christian Pulisic Is Wasting No Time Impressing His New Dortmund Coach

It didn't take Christian Pulisic long to show his new boss what he can do with the ball at his feet. In Borussia Dortmund’s first match of the International Champions Cup against renovated AC Milan in China, Pulisic had two assists and drew a penalty as the Germans cruised to a 3-1 win. 

New Dortmund coach Peter Bosz will likely have few complaints with the 18-year-old American, who was subbed off in the 74th minute. Bosz was brought in from Ajax in June after guiding the Dutch team to the Europa League final. 

You Should Feel Sorry For These Poor Fools Who Were Destroyed By Lionel Messi Last Season

There’s something beautiful about watching Lionel Messi in action. It’s poetic, balletic and scintillating. The anticipation when he receives the ball brings butterflies to the stomach. The way he effortlessly skips by defenders and zips in shots from long range makes the heart sing. How he deftly controls a sharp pass with the outside of his left boot before depositing a shot into the lower corner tingles the senses like a romantic first kiss. 

But mostly, we just love seeing Messi embarrassing the sorry fools who try to stop him week after week.

The 5 Greatest Preseason Moments Ever On American Soil

The International Champions Cup begings today and with it comes an assault of hyperbole, a glut of sponsors and a legion of mercenary money-grubbers. It’s hell on earth as ESPN tells us that Miami’s El Clasico will be the biggest event in American soccer history, Heineken encourages you to consume a pony keg by way of IV drip and Manchester United plant their imperial flag in Sandy, Utah. 

Diego Costa, In Exuberant “Screw You!” Phase Of Chelsea Break Up, Parties In Atletico Shirt

Earlier this summer, Diego Costa broke Chelsea fans’ hearts everywhere when he confirmed that he was not in manager Antonio Conte’s plans for next season. However, according to the Brazilian/Spanish forward, the news was not relayed to him in the typical office-sit-down sort of chat. Rather, Conte reportedly told Costa his fate via text message.

I Like Landon Donovan, But I Can’t Hear Landon Donovan

When the United States began their Gold Cup campaign last Saturday I was in a bar. I was there to watch this game, but somewhere around the 30th minute I started to drift. I was like a pass from the American midfield — serenely floating here and there without any purpose or sense of direction.

Dom Dwyer’s opening goal sent the bartender on a rambling ode to Sydney Leroux that lasted until tonight’s match against Nicaragua, a week-long sonnet on unrealized love. 

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