Lionel Messi

Los frappuccinos de Unicornio están pasados de moda, la bebida de Messi ha llegado

La grandeza de Lionel Messi puede que nunca sea entendida. Si lo has visto correr en círculos alrededor de los defensas como si fueran conos o simplemente echando un vistazo a los números que definen su carrera, probablemente te preguntes "¿Cómo lo hace este hombre?"

Aunque puede que nunca sepamos completamente la respuesta, cuando un espécimen como Messi se acerca, queremos analizar cada aspecto de su existencia para averiguar qué los hace imparables. ¿Cómo se entrenan? ¿Cómo eran sus padres? ¡¿Les gusta voltear sus almohadas al lado frío antes de ir a la cama?!

Messi, de 10 años de edad, era extrañamente bueno, de hecho, tan extraño como la película La Profecía

Sin ánimo de ofender a Lionel Messi, pero si tu hijo de 10 años empezara a hacer esto un día en el patio trasero, ¿pensarías "Caramba, el pequeño Jimmy seguro que muestra inclinación por el fútbol” o pensarías “Caramba, ¿el pequeño Jimmy puede ser literalmente la encarnación del Diablo”?

Basándome en una herencia genética familiar, más propensa a la locura que a la excelencia futbolística, optaría por lo último. Sin ánimo de ofender a Messi, pero si mi hijo hiciera esto, buscaría una extraña marca de nacimiento y pediría a mi sacerdote local las siete dagas de sacrificio. 

You Should Feel Sorry For These Poor Fools Who Were Destroyed By Lionel Messi Last Season

There’s something beautiful about watching Lionel Messi in action. It’s poetic, balletic and scintillating. The anticipation when he receives the ball brings butterflies to the stomach. The way he effortlessly skips by defenders and zips in shots from long range makes the heart sing. How he deftly controls a sharp pass with the outside of his left boot before depositing a shot into the lower corner tingles the senses like a romantic first kiss. 

But mostly, we just love seeing Messi embarrassing the sorry fools who try to stop him week after week.

The 5 Greatest Preseason Moments Ever On American Soil

The International Champions Cup begings today and with it comes an assault of hyperbole, a glut of sponsors and a legion of mercenary money-grubbers. It’s hell on earth as ESPN tells us that Miami’s El Clasico will be the biggest event in American soccer history, Heineken encourages you to consume a pony keg by way of IV drip and Manchester United plant their imperial flag in Sandy, Utah. 

Messi And His Wife Are Spending Their First Days As Newlyweds Hanging Out With Luis Suarez

You know how honeymoons are supposed to work: the newlyweds are supposed to hop on a plane and spend a few weeks being very romantic and doing it a lot while not seeing a single person they have ever met or will meet again. This is a tried-and true formula, but it is not the formula Lionel Messi and wife Antonella Roccuzzo are using, because their honeymoon includes Luis Suarez.

Who Is The Best Dune Buggy Driver On Barcelona?

Gerard Pique crashed a dune buggy. This is not an uncommon occurrence in the dune buggy world, as dune buggies tend to give one a shot of adrenaline that forces one to press the gas pedal down as far as it will go while making an extremely sharp turn and ending up upside-down in a cloud of dust.

That said, is there anyone on Barcelona who would be able to resist these temptations, while still driving a dune buggy with the verve and the exuberance that a dune buggy demands? We speculated:

Gerard Pique: No.

Lionel Messi Renews Barca Deal Until 2021 With Reported €300 Million Release Clause

Lionel Messi joined Barcelona’s La Masia youth academy at the age of 13, and his latest contract extension with the club will see him remain there until he’s 34. According to FC Barcelona, Messi has agreed to an extension through June 30, 2021, and the Argentinean will officially sign the deal in the coming weeks, when he returns to the club for preseason training.

The Best Photos From Lionel Messi's Star-Studded Wedding

Lionel Messi was married to longtime partner Antonela Roccuzzo on Friday in their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. The event was a who's who of footballing royalty with Barcelona legends of past and present in attendance as well as Messi's teammates on the Argentinian national team.

Lionel Messi's Wedding Was Just As Extravagant As You'd Think

Soccer's version of the Royal Wedding took place yesterday. Lionel Messi married his childhood sweeheart, Antonella Roccuzzo, in a ceremony in Rosario, Argentina. Everything was very extravagant. There was a red carpet.

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