Humor

Ref Ends Sevilla-Granada Match Too Soon, So Get Your Ass Back Out There

Sevilla kept itself in the LaLiga title race by defeating Granada 2-1 at the Ramón Sánchez Pizjuán on Sunday, although Spain’s fourth-place side had to withstand late pressure following Roberto Soldado’s penalty and hold out for not one, but two full-time whistles. 

Ivan Rakitić gave Sevilla a 1-0 lead from the spot in the 16th minute, and Lucas Ocampos made it 2-0 in the 53rd off a feed from Papu Gómez. However, in the 90th minute, the VAR spotted a Marcos Acuña handball and Soldado said game on with four minutes of stoppage time to play.

‘He’s A Clown’: Minnesota Rips David Ochoa After RSL Keeper Punts Ball At Fans

It’s a situation we’ve all seen countless times: The visiting team, playing the role of underdog, takes an early lead in front of a charged crowd and spends the remainder of the match attempting to disrupt the rhythm of the game to secure the three points; the end justifies the means, no matter how it’s achieved.

But you’ve never seen it play out quite like last night’s MLS meeting between Minnesota United and Real Salt Lake at Allianz Field in Saint Paul. 

I Can’t Stop Laughing At This Poor Defender Who Unwittingly Blocked 3 Shots In 5 Seconds (He’s Fine)

Werder Bremen defender Marco Friedl deserves the Scott Sterling Medal of Courage after the beating he took protecting his goal on Saturday. The 23-year-old Austrian blocked the ball not once, not twice but three times in about five seconds. The last two came with him writhing on the ground in pain from the first, including the last one after the whistle had blown. It was hilarious and miserable all at once. 

Australia Coach Wants Messi Included In What He Calls Tokyo’s “Group Of Dreams”

MELBOURNE - Upbeat Australia coach Graham Arnold has urged Argentina to bring Lionel Messi to the Olympics and described their tough pool as Tokyo's "group of dreams.”

Drawn with twice champions Argentina, 1992 winners Spain and Egypt, the “Olyroos” face an uphill battle to reach the knockout rounds of the 16-team tournament, their first Games since Beijing in 2008.

For All His Talents, Ronaldo Is The Game’s Worst Free Kick Defender

Does Cristiano Ronaldo suffer from sfairesphobia (the fear of balls or spherical objects)? That would explain why he’s so quick to get the football off his foot and into the back of the net, as well as why he’s the worst defender in a wall since the Trojans. 

Does Gen Z Really Want Shorter Games?

Despite The Super League going official on Sunday, much of the new competition’s finer details are still shrouded in mystery (except for the part where the 15 founding clubs make a lot of money). 

Liverpool Vs. Leeds Recap But It’s Just The Best Tweets Shitting On Liverpool

With news of the European Super League dominating the global football conversation, Monday’s Premier League match between Liverpool and Leeds United felt entirely meaningless. Liverpool entered the match chasing the top four and Champions League football next season — something they’ll never have to concern themselves with again if the Super League moves forward.

Tottenham Sucks, Says New Tottenham Sponsor

“Banter club” is a common insult, but it’s 100 percent true for Tottenham Hotspur. How else do you explain the North London club’s recent acquisition of a paint sponsorship that’s already gone awry.

Spurs announced a new sponsorship deal on Thursday morning with paint company Dulux, the first official paint supplier of the Premier League club. Within hours Tottenham was forced to make fun of itself to save face after the new sponsor spent the morning making fun of Spurs on Twitter.

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