Humor

This decade has seen some interesting (to put it mildly) fashion trends developed by soccer players. As if the Russell Westbrook-esque pre- and post-game outfits weren’t enough, high-profile soccer stars have adopted an affinity for dyeing their hair blonde. Their questionable decisions have prompted younger players and the youth of our world to follow in their footsteps. Which begs the question, "Why do soccer players bleach their hair blonde?"

Let us take you back in time. 

Lionel Messi got a Mastiff puppy eight months ago. It was small(ish) then. It is big now. Like, bigger than Messi, almost.

Here's a picture with Messi and his cute Mastiff puppy.

The annual Bundesliga Playa Haters’ Ball has commenced within the Bundesliga’s official YouTube channel, and there’s one clear target: the Bundesliga’s newest arrival after promotion, RB Leipzig.

via GIPHY

We love a good manager tiff, and no two managers in soccer have been more consistently tiff-some in the last few years than Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger. Their long and storied history of passive-aggressive sniping is a shining example for those of us who count being petty as a hobby.

There was that time Mourinho called Wenger a "specialist in failure" and refused to apologize, that time Wenger said Mourinho was afraid of failure and that time Mourinho called Wenger a "voyeur."

And now there is a new entry into the pair's long lesson in managerial grudge-holding. 

For thirty years now Canada have been searching for their elusive treasure. The 1986 World Cup in Mexico was the last time they'd qualified for a World Cup finals, finishing a glorious 24th out of 24 participants.

Their hopes of advancing to the 2014 tournament in Brazil were dashed before the final Hexagonal round, a calamitous 8-1 defeat to Honduras leaving the Canucks hurting.

Zenit St. Petersburg received a remarkable offer from Burger King to change the team's name to "Zenit Burger King".

Really.

Zenit have received a €6.8-million offer from @BurgerKing to change team's name to "Zenit Burger King".

— Artur Petrosyan (@arturpetrosyan) September 2, 2016

There's a soccer moose on the loose in Colorado and it's doing stepovers like a hairy Cristiano Ronaldo with antlers.

Just call it Moose-a Sissoko. Or Moose-a Dembele. Or Ahmed Moose-a. 

A moose was practicing his soccer skills in this Breckenridge yard. Thanks to Megan Greff for the awesome video! pic.twitter.com/HptXoFRl8p

— 9NEWS Denver (@9NEWS) September 1, 2016

It wasn’t a particularly good day at the office for Alex Morgan and her club side the Orlando Pride on Saturday. The Pride were defeated 4-2 by the Houston Dash at BBVA Compass Stadium in Houston, Texas.

Orlando were seemingly done and dusted by the game's 80th minute, the Dash dominating proceedings and holding a comfortable 3-0 advantage. However, Morgan and the Pride were able to pull one back after a clever set piece routine allowed the USWNT striker to break through on goal. Her finish was characteristically precise, nestling into the far corner.

“I uh…I eat a lot of frozen stuff…It’s usually pretty bad, I mean the pictures are always so awesome, you know? It’s like ‘Hell yeah, I’m starved for this lasagna!’ and then you nuke it and the cheese gets all scabby on top and it’s like…it’s like you’re eating a scab…I mean, seriously, what’s that about? It’s like ‘Yo! What ever happened to truth in advertising?’ You know?” -Jesse Pinkman

This quote from Aaron Paul’s Breaking Bad character could effectively be applied to Paul’s own PokerStars Duel face-off against footballing superstar Cristiano Ronaldo.