Humor

U-17 free kick routine beginning with rock-paper-scissors is only getting started

What is it with the youth of Japan and unforgettable set piece routines? Every year we're visiting the All Japan High School Soccer Tournament to watch some team perform Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake before scoring, so it comes as no surprise that when all the finest young Samurai Blue minds come together to represent Japan at the U-17 level, magic happens. 

Milwaukee Professional Soccer Twitter kit contest is a chaotic masterpiece

Should it be Cream or White? Stripes or hoops? Clean and classy or bold and brash? As the city of Milwaukee prepares to welcome its new USL Championship franchise, the club hopes to gain some inspiration from fans so the players look good when they hit the field in 2025. 

For a budding soccer team with no official name, badge, history, or colors, a kit design contest should be pointless, but when given a prompt on June 28, many fans on Twitter took the time to create jerseys that they felt best represented their city. 

Can the USWNT win the World Cup with Danny DeVito at CB? We use FIFA 23 to find out

Heading to the 2023 FIFA Women's World Cup in Australia and New Zealand, many have pinpointed the USWNT's lack of depth at center back as a cause for concern. So to predict the outcome of this summer's main event, we've devised the sternest, most analytical variable yet: How would the USWNT fare at the World Cup with Danny DeVito at center back?

What's HotShot? The latest NWSL drinking trend, explained

It's the melt-your-nerves-to-cease-cramp craze that's been taking over the NWSL, but what is HotShot sports drink?

Well, on one hand it's a concoction that's just one viral TikTok challenge away from sending the majority of our nation's youth to the hospital, and on the other it's an instant remedy for athletes struggling with cramp.

India manager shares highlight of himself getting sent off for protesting a throw-in

India, ranked 101st in the world, are flying high this calendar year with an unbeaten record of six wins and one draw, including an impressive 4-0 victory over Pakistan on Wednesday to begin the 2023 South Asian Football Federation Championship.

They managed that win despite having their manager, 55-year-old Croatian Igor Štimac, sent off before halftime.

Already leading 2-0 off a Sunil Chhetri brace (he's not finished yet, Messi and Ronaldo!), Štimac still lost his mind in the 45th minute when the referee awarded Pakistan a throw-in instead of giving possession to India.

5 animals Lionel Messi should keep an eye on while living in Florida

Among the reasons Lionel Messi decided to play for Inter Miami is the idea of enjoying soccer "in a calmer way" while having more time around his family.

Sure, it sounds like a long-term vacation, a downgrade to an ill-called "retirement league," but the truth is Messi shouldn't let his guard down.  

Not only because there are defenders like Walker Zimmermann and Miles Robinson that can make him run for his money, but also because off the pitch, there are a series of animals and critters living in Florida that he — and his lovely family — should be keeping an eye on.

Forget Messi! Ronaldo's number one enemy is now the wrinkles around his eyes

We spent over a decade thinking Lionel Messi was Cristiano Ronaldo's biggest nemesis, but how wrong we were: the player's real enemy is no other than the wrinkles surrounding his eyes.

He hates them.

I know it sounds egregious, but we have proof.

Cristiano scores a bazillion goals every season and keeps his body in perfect shape, masking the fact he's already 38. But he's no fool. He knows that the passage of time is ruthless, and he's very conscious of it.

Cristiano Ronaldo hates wrinkles

Take, for instance, his last game against Iceland.

San Jose Earthquakes halftime show contestant wows with an outrageous dime

The San Jose Earthquakes and Portland Timbers played to a 0-0 result on Saturday night at PayPal Park, and news agency Reuters went with the headline "Goalkeepers steal show as Earthquakes, Timbers play to draw" ... Reuters wasn't telling the whole truth.

Watch: Kid wearing U.S. jersey takes off Mexico headband while celebrating Ricardo Pepi’s goal

Thursday night’s wild game between the United States men’s national team and Mexico ended prematurely due to Mexican fans repeated homophobic chanting. The 3-0 win for U.S. was a bit overshadowed by the actions off the field, however one fan has won the hearts of the internet.

Former Wales youth international leaves club for "Love Island"

Irish side Shelbourne are grappling with an unconventional transfer after goalkeeper Scott van der Sluis announced he was leaving to participate in dating reality show Love Island.

Van der Sluis, a former Wales youth international, is heading to Spain after requesting an early release from his contact to take a break from his professional career.

The 22-year-old was confirmed as the British show's latest "bombshell" entry on Wednesday.

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