Goals

Xavi Shows That Class Is Permanent With Absurd Volley Technique

Here’s the latest from from the Qatar Stars League: Xavi Hernandez is still unexplainably good at football. The 36-year-old Catalan scored a preposterous volley for Al Sadd, the difference in their 1-0 victory over Al Khor. 

With his entire being facing the touchline, the midfield maestro allowed the ball to run across his body and onto his right foot. He then somehow managed to contort himself just enough to direct a right-footed volley inside the far post. 

Keeper Scores Bicycle Kick Equalizer Deep In Stoppage Time

Baroka grabbed a late draw against the Orlando Pirates in South Africa's PSL after their goalie joined the attack and scored with a bicycle kick. Yes, that's right. Goalkeeper equalizer. At the death. With a bicycle kick. We have to seperate those words out like that because they just don't make sense in a sentence.

Toronto FC Advance To The MLS Cup Final After A Very Ludicrous Playoff Series

Before we get to the game, can we just talk about the atmosphere in Toronto last night? That was one of the best atmospheres for a sporting event I have ever seen. It was raining, but also smoky because Toronto fans kept setting off flares in the stands. 

Honestly, we didn't know Canadians could get that rowdy. Good for them.

The atmosphere was good and the match, if anything, was even better. This was not a well-played soccer game. It was, however, a good soccer game, in terms of total chaos and excitement. Here's what happened:

Enzo Zidane Repays His Father’s Faith By Scoring On His Debut

Twenty-one-year-old Enzo Alan Zidane Fernandez, known more commonly as Enzo, was handed his senior Real Madrid debut by manager and father Zinedine Zidane on Wednesday. With Madrid holding a 7-1 advantage in their Copa del Rey fixture following the first leg, it was something of a training exercise against Cultural Leonesa, a club in the third level of the Spanish football league system.

Ben Woodburn Scores Against Leeds, Renders Michael Owen Irrelevant

Liverpool fans were probably the only people who really cared who Ben Woodburn was before this season started, but they were very excited about him.

After the youngster scored against Leeds United in the EFL Cup Tuesday, though, the cat's out of the bag. Woodburn, at 17 years and 45 days old, broke the record held by Michael Owen (17 years and 143 days) for youngest-ever Liverpool goalscorer.

Here are the match highlights:

Roma’s Diego Perotti Scores With An Insane Rabona Chip

While we were all busy drinking, eating turkey, napping and arguing over the results of the election with family, AS Roma’s Diego Perotti was living a much more active lifestyle by playing in a Europa League match against Viktoria Plzen on Thursday. 

Roma would win the match 4-1, cementing their place as winner’s of Group E, and Perotti scored a stunner with a rabona chip that found the back of the net. Did he mean it? 

This Bicycle Kick Winner In Russia Is Everything

Chances are, you've never heard the name Tornike Okriashvili.

He's a midfielder from Georgia (the country, not the state) who plays for FC Krasnodar in the Russian first division, and, man, he just scored one of the craziest game winners you'll ever see.

The above bicycle kick came in the fourth minute of extra time against Zenit St. Petersburg.

The goal was all the more insane because Krasnodar were 1-0 down after Zenit scored in the 86th minute, and they came back to win 2-1.

Vedad Ibisevic Scored His 100th Bundesliga Goal Then Got Sent Off Less Than 10 Minutes Later

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

It was the best of times for Vedad Ibisevic because he scored twice in Hertha Berlin's 2-1 win over Mainz, with the second marking his 100th Bundesliga goal.

It was the worst of times for Vedad Ibisevic because, less than 10 minutes after scoring his 100th Bundesliga goal, he got a second yellow and was sent off.

Watch This Monster Lash A Strike From The Halfway Line Off The Post And In

Barnet threw down against Enfield Town in the Middlesex Senior Cup, a competition involving Greater London clubs that we know f*** all about. Enfield Town play in the semi-professional Isthmian League, and their club badge features the Enfield beast, a fictitious creature with the head of a fox, the chest of a greyhound, the body of a lion, the legs and tail of a wolf and eagle’s talons.

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