Goals

Not All Goals Are Created Equal: 3 Dramatic Strikes Change Complexion Of Serie A

Goals change games. That’s pretty much football 101. That’s how the game works. But not every goal is created equal. This week in Serie A, the true value of a goal was shown to be different on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So let’s take a look at the three goals that defined the weekend and why they differed so widely. 

Watch This Fantastic Udinese Team Goal, Finished Off By KEVIN LASAGNA

This goal has some layers to it, y'all.

Udinese put three goals past Crotone in Serie A on Monday, and the best of the bunch was the third, a delicious, flavorful team move finished off by ...

(opens oven)

(takes megaphone out of oven, wearing oven mitts, obviously, because the megaphone is really hot)

(blows on megaphone to cool it down a bit)

KEVIN LASAGNA.

Amazing Goal From 19-Year-Old Ianis Hagi Shows Blatant Disregard For Shooting Angles

Georghe Hagi had a knack of scoring from anywhere on the pitch. Like Steph Curry, give him a few feet and he could launch a shot from anywhere inside his own half — and usually score. Now the Romanian legend’s 19-year-old son is doing the same with Fiorentina, which beat Chievo Verona 3-2 in a youth match thanks to an unlikely Ianis Hagi goal. 

Milan’s Gennaro Gattuso Would've Preferred Spending His Sunday Being Stabbed

Benevento’s raucous point against AC Milan on Sunday, their first after 15 matches in Serie A, was as historic as it was surreal. It put an end to the worst losing start ever in Europe’s big five leagues, but it was also miraculously earned by goalkeeper Alberto Brignoli after the shot-stopper pushed forward on a 95th minute free kick.

Also, it was a glorious diving header to make life that much more hellish for the floundering seven-time European champions, Milan.

Stanford Won The Women’s College Cup On An Absolutely Beautiful Goal

Stanford had lost a two-goal lead and Julie Foudy suggested the momentum was all with UCLA. Jaye Boissiere had other things in mind. Boissiere curled in a beautiful shot from 20 yards out in the 67th minute to propel the Cardinal to a 3-2 victory in the Women’s College Cup final in Orlando, Florida, on Sunday.

Stanford (24-1-0) won its second national title by finishing the season on a 22-match win streak. The Cardinal’s only loss came in August against Florida in Gainesville, not far from where the Women’s College Cup took place at Orlando City Stadium. 

Watch Goalie Score 95th-Minute Equalizer Against AC Milan For Benevento’s First Point Of The Season

Benevento finally got off the goose egg. After starting the Serie A campaign with 14 straight losses, an Alberto Brignoli goal in the 95th minute gave Benevento a 2-2 home draw with AC Milan on Sunday. Oh, did we mention Brignoli is a goalkeeper?

With Benevento trailing 2-1 late but with a man advantage after Alessio Romagnoli was sent off for a second yellow card, Brignoli marched up the pitch for a free kick in the fifth minute of five minutes of stoppage time. Improbably, the ball found his head and zipped past Gianluigi Donnarumma and into the goal. 

Watch Serge Gnabry Do His Best Wayne Rooney Impression

On Wednesday, Wayne Rooney scored an incredible long-range goal for Everton against West Ham. On Saturday, Hoffenheim's Serge Gnabry showed that he watches veteran players and copies them when he dropped a ridiculous chip into the back of RB Leipzig's net.

Last Night, Harry Shipp Transformed Into 1970 Pele For The Sounders

Last night, the Seattle Sounders laid waste to the Houston Dynamo in the MLS Cup Western Conference final, running out 3-0 winners on the night for a 5-0 aggregate victory. It was shades of Brazil’s 4-1 triumph over Italy in the 1970 FIFA World Cup Final. What I mean by that is the final goal was a thing of supreme beauty.

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