Goals

Messi Masterminds Yet Another UCL Win With Brilliant Goal, Assist

While most of Europe (but not the U.S.) was fixated on PSG-Liverpool on Wednesday, Lionel Messi was creating his usual magic in the Netherlands. 

Barcelona failed to score in the first hour against PSV Eindhoven, which had just one point through four Champions League matches coming into Wednesday. Then Messi took over and before you knew it the Blaugrana had a 2-1 victory. 

Cristiano Ronaldo Provides The Magic To Lead Juventus Into The Round Of 16

Much like the Imperial AT-ST Walker trod across the Endor forest floor, crushing the skulls of small Ewoks beneath its step, so is the Juventus Galactic Empire squeezing the life out of its opponents faces. 

We’re only a third of the way through the season, but an eight-point lead in Serie A feels pretty unassailable for the back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back Italian champions, and Tuesday's 1-0 win over Valencia in Turin at Allianz Stadium secured passage to the Champions League Round of 16 for the fifth straight season.

Arjen Robben Cuts Around 4 Defenders Before Smashing Another Arjen Robben Special

Arjen Robben went some way toward saving the job of Bayern Munich manager Niko Kovač (for now) while simultaneously getting Benfica manager Rui Vitória sacked after giving his side an early lead in the Champions League on Tuesday.

With both sides struggling mightily domestically (Bayern’s fifth in the Bundesliga; Benfica’s fourth in the Primeira Liga), the scrutiny on both managers this week had been intense. 

Atlanta Thumps New York With The Aid Of VAR Shithousery

The use of VAR is a great thing; it’s a necessary development in the game. If you find someone who disputes that, you’ve probably found someone who doesn’t really understand how the system works. However, as the World Cup demonstrated, it can be great while still inviting contentious debate. The system is there to help referees, but it’s still that humanoid umpire making the final call. 

Spinning Back Heel Assist Emerges From English Fifth Division

Want to travel to Wetherby Road for an English fifth division match between Harrogate Town and Braintree Town? Of course you do, and not just because Braintree Town sounds like an album from Three 6 Mafia.

You really want to go because 28-year-old midfielder Michael Woods — a Chelsea youth product — just scored a gobsmacking goal, although the real smacking part of it was the spinning back heel assist provided by Sunderland native Mark Beck.  

This is Wenger-ball 2.0. 

Arsenal The Beneficiary Of A Truly Banging Jefferson Lerma Own Goal

Arsenal extended its unbeaten streak in all competitions to 17 with a 2-1 win over Bournemouth in Premier League action Sunday, and the game’s opener was one of our favorites from the month of November.

Jefferson Lerma — Bournemouth’s record $32 million summer signing — scored his first goal for the club against Newcastle United back on Nov. 10, but today, he was the unfortunate scorer of a banging own goal.

With 30 minutes on the clock, the Colombian laced a side-volley that flew past Asmir Begovic in goal. It’s a spectacular finish in every sense of the word.  

Ronaldo Scores In Third Straight Game — You Can Guess What Kind Of Goal It Was

After a slow start, Cristiano Ronaldo can’t stop scoring. The latest, a Ronaldo goal vs SPAL, gave the Portuguese star his first three-match scoring streak with Juventus. And it was more proof that Ronaldo just wants to score more than anyone else.

Icardi Finally Scored, Dybala Finally Scored And Messi Might Return In March

Tuesday night’s friendly match between Argentina and Mexico was a fittingly strange closing to a strange year for both nations: Mauro Icardi scored his first international goal at the eighth time of asking, and Paulo Dybala also opened his account in his 18th appearance. 

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