Goals

While the U.S. was sent packing after the group stage following its worst-ever showing at a FIFA U-17 World Cup, Mexico is through to the quarterfinals following a 2-0 victory over Japan in Gama, Brazil, on Wednesday. If you were already a little disappointed with U.S. Soccer following the dismal showing, you’ll be pleased to know that Mexico’s success is even further damnation of our bumbling federation.

Tottenham has constructed one of the greatest goals of all-time, if you — like me — look at goalmouth scrambles like you look at the Sagrada Família.

Bayern Munich recorded the most dominant 2-0 victory you could ever imagine over Olympiacos on Wednesday in the Champions League. Olympiacos goalkeeper José Sá recorded nine saves before finally being beaten by Robert Lewandowski’s delicate one-touch finish in the 69th minute. In the 89th, just one minute after entering the field as a substitute, Ivan Perišić made it two. 

Cristiano Ronaldo had been subbed off, as had goal scorer Aaron Ramsey. So needing a goal late to see off Lokomotiv Moscow, Juventus winger Douglas Costa took things into his own hands.

Costa almost single-handedly smoked the entirety of the Lokomotiv defense to score a stunning 93rd-minute winner as Juventus eked out a 2-1 win in Champions League Group D play on Wednesday in Moscow. 

There’s a term in multiplayer video games called KSing — kill stealing — that refers to one player getting credit for a kill when another did most of the hard work.

Aaron Ramsey just KS’d Cristiano Ronaldo.

Trailing Inter Milan 2-0 at home with just 40 minutes remaining and contemplating an almost certain drop to the Europa League, Borussia Dortmund stormed back to a 3-2 victory with the Westfalenstadion roaring on its heroes, including 21-year-old breakthrough star Achraf Hakimi. 

Hellas Verona defeated Mario Balotelli’s Brescia 2-1 today, but the lasting images of the match all pertain to the former Manchester City striker. In the 54th minute, Balotelli took possession near the corner flag and with the ball still in play, he responded to racist chanting by picking it up and punting it into the stands of the Stadio Marc'Antonio Bentegodi.

Lionel Messi hit a remarkable milestone, but he won’t be celebrating it after his Barcelona side gave up three goals in seven minutes in the second half of a 3-1 defeat to Levante on Saturday at Ciutat de Valencia. 

Messi opened the scoring with a well-taken penalty in the 38th minute, giving the visitors a 1-0 lead at halftime with Barça’s first awarded penalty of the LaLiga season.

The goal was the 500th Messi has scored with his left foot for Barcelona.

Even by Lionel Messi’s ridiculous standards, the Barcelona captain’s 90 minutes against Valladolid at the Camp Nou on Tuesday constitute something outrageous. After the two clubs exchanged heavily deflected efforts in the opening 15 minutes, Messi sprang into action with a beautiful assist, stunning free kick (and two brutal nutmegs) to put Barcelona up 3-1 at halftime. In the second half, he scored another goal and added another assist to lift Barça to the top of the LaLiga table.

Former Atlético Madrid youth/Arsenal flop Lucas Pérez scored the greatest goal of his career (although he did hit a nice bicycle kick earlier this season), earning Alavés a 1-1 draw with Atlético in Basque Country on Tuesday.