Funny

The Houston Dynamo are in a heated race in the standings as we head into the final stretch of the MLS season. With just a few matches left, Houston leads rivals FC Dallas and Austin FC for the “First Place In Texas And Not Last Place In The West Cup” I just made up. But the Dynamo stumbled in their attempts to not suck as much as the other Texas clubs with a 3-0 loss to the LA Galaxy on Wednesday night, a match highlighted by a Houston Dynamo proposal fail.

You haven’t played ball growing up if you never took a ball to the face on a cold day. The stinging sensation that engulf your cheeks and nose is a feeling a steward in England felt Tuesday night when he took a penalty kick directly to the face. 

Steward Hit In The Face Penalty Kick

This penalty is brilliant. #ytfc pic.twitter.com/cFOAsvfjJq

If you were able to watch the Champions League on Paramount+ on Tuesday without interruptions, then you were one of the lucky ones. If you’re like me, you were stuck looking up “Paramount plus down” or “Paramount plus Champions League down.” 

The first half went smoothly for me. I watched a bit of the Transnistria underdogs Sheriff and then hopped over to watch Ajax and Dortmund. Everything went wrong when I heard that Sheriff equalized against Inter Milan seven minutes into the second half. When I tried to switch games, I was greeted with this.

Now that Season 2 of “Ted Lasso” has come to a close, fans of the series may be dismayed to learn Apple TV+ only plans to produce one more season of the beloved series. This time next year we could be mourning the end of Ted Lasso’s story at AFC Richmond. Given the success of the series — and the dearth of other programming on Apple TV+ — I wouldn’t be surprised if the series produces a Ted Lasso spinoff or two.

The greatest love story in football — is it David Beckham and Posh Spice? Too tired. Lionel Messi and Antonela Roccuzzo? Too cookie-cutter. Cristiano Ronaldo and Georgina Rodríguez? That’s a Peloton ad. 

No, nothing comes close to Mauro Icardi, Wanda Nara and whoever is completing the messy love triangle at this particular moment in time.

Talks over a World Cup taking place every two years continue to heat up. Former Arsenal manager and current FIFA Chief of Global Football Development Arsene Wenger insisted that a biennial World Cup isn’t a money grab.

His critics disagree.

️ "The perception of time has changed and the younger generation wants to be entertained much more."

He’s here, he’s there, he’s every fucking where — Roooooyyy Keeennnt. Roy Kent. 

In Season 1 of “Ted Lasso,” there was no doubt Jason Sudeikis’ eponymous character was the star of the show. As Season 2 progressed, a new star emerged: Roy fucking Kent. 

After months of back-page rumors and legal challenges, Newcastle United's Saudi takeover was officially announced last week, much to the elation of Newcastle supporters.

Fans took to the streets outside of St. James' Park in celebration of the cash flow that they hope will be injected into the club, as they dreamed of Kylian Mbappé, Philippe Coutinho, and other high-price attackers suiting up in the Magpies' black and white stripes.

If you haven’t seen a picture or video of the Portugal U21 scoreboard from a Euro qualifier against Liechtenstein on Thursday, I implore you to take a gander. Liechtenstein’s senior team is ranked 188th in the world. As a country with second lowest population among UEFA members, I honestly didn’t even know they had enough people for a U21 team.