Funny

Cristiano Ronaldo Wants You To Check Out His Legs

The fallout from Brexit and its implications for the United Kingdom. The widening divide between United States of America voters siding with either Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. The global rise in refugee numbers and the humanitarian crises facing us all.

No matter. Cristiano Ronaldo just wants you to look at his legs. Just look at them, damn you! These legs are going to solve the world’s problems, one highly toned quadricep at a time. 

John Arne Riise Tried Beer For The First Time And He Did Not Like It

John Arne Riise is a Norwegian retired former footballer. He is one of the best full-backs in Liverpool history. He is 35 years old. He has never drank a beer.

Until now.

Riise posted a video of him trying his first-ever beer on Instagram. He did not like it.

This Former Pro Believes The World Is Run By Lizard People. And 4% Of You Agree.

We’ve seen many odd career choices made by soccer players after hanging up their boots. Ronaldo tried his luck as a poker player. Maradona got a TV show. Countless went into politics – and the list of post-retirement career choices goes on and on. Nevertheless, no soccer player has taken a path quite like former Coventry City and Hereford United goalkeeper David Icke. 

First, a little background on David Icke.

It’s Rare That A Pitch Invader Is Broadcast on TV. This One Was Hilarious

Don’t get me wrong, the first half of the Chile Colombia 2016 Copa America semi-final was really exciting. There were goals, and Chile pretty much ran rampant all over Colombia. But then halftime happened, there was a rain delay, and the second half didn’t until over two hours had passed.

By the time it restarted, both teams were over it. The game was boring, a waste of time. Until, that is, a pitch invader decided to run onto the field. 

The LA Galaxy Ended An Amateur Team’s Cup Run In The Most Bogus Way Possible

The MLS did its reputation no favors in the US Open Cup the other day, by doing itself a favor. The LA Galaxy faced off against La Maquina FC, what a mounts to a 5th division club, and needed a despicable goal to win.

That was perfectly legal, by the way.

The Galaxy went on to win the game 4-1 in extra time, but really, are they the winners here?

Jogi Low Keeps Rubbing His Hand In Places He Shouldn't Then Sniffing it

First there was this from Germany manager Jogi Low.

Then there was this.

And now there's another one.

Swedish Footballer Sent Off For Laying A Worse Fart Than Mexico

In the biggest story to come out of European football this summer, a Swedish defender was sent off while playing in a ninth-tier match for farting near the opposition striker. 

According to The Guardian, Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, the left-back for Jarna SK’s reserve team, was shown a second yellow card for “deliberate provocation” and “unsportsmanlike behavior” after farting in the general direction of opposition striker Kristoffer Linde.

Messi's Beard Is Dope And Good And Cool

Messi has grown a beard, and his beard is dope. All beards are sweet, but Messi with a beard is especially sweet.

A beard says something about you. Specifically, it says "I can grow hair on my face." I think growing hair on you face is awesome, but I'm a little bit biased.

Everyone capable of growing a beard should have one. I've always said that. But this isn't about me. It's about Messi and his dope beard.

Messi was the coolest already, but his beard has made him legendary. 

"I Hope Puma Don't Produce Condoms," Says Xherdan Shaqiri After Four Swiss Jerseys Tear During Match

If you happened to watch Switzerland grind out a 0-0 draw with France on Sunday, we're sorry. We're so very, very sorry. 

It was a dull game, a fact which becomes all the more prevalent when you consider the fact most of the post-game analysis has been regarding the material of the Swiss team's Puma-produced jerseys. 

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