Wednesday’s historic match between Barcelona and PSG has already entered footballing lore alongside Germany’s 7-1 destruction of Brazil and Portugal’s improbable victory over France. These are matches that, in today’s day and age, will always provide us with a good laugh and meme. PSG’s capitulation is now part of the comical DNA of the game.
Look, I think it's time we addressed the elephant in the room, the truth we all know but can't bring ourselves to admit, the monster hiding under the bed of our fandom.
Soccer is boring.
La espectacular celebracion de Luis Enrique cuando todavia no había finalizado el partido pic.twitter.com/XhfFqlVLvF
— FCBarcelona Live (@VidaBlaugrana_) March 8, 2017
Have you ever been told you look familiar? Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? Join the club, because it happens to the best of us. It’s common for people to look like a famous celebrity or someone’s long-lost cousin. But have you ever been told you look like an animal? It’s not something you hear often, but it's also not the most ridiculous comparison since we are animals after all! Take a look at 15 footballers that channel something other than human.
After his trials and tribulations at Liverpool, Mamadou Sakho has been granted a new lease on life at Crystal Palace. He’s playing like a madman, helping Palace to two straight wins, two clean sheets and a rise out of the relegation zone.
Sakho is clearing anything and cleaning out anyone that comes his way. Just look at this from the Frenchman.
Sakho takes off on a Beckenbauer-esque run after taking the ball off his own teammate. He knows he’s in a blind alley, so he turns and side foots it backwards.
We here in soccer media are very stupid. Much of the time, we don't even know how to properly stylize the names of the teams we're writing about!
Luckily, the MLS has come out with a handy style guide for urchin media members such as ourselves who keep writing MLS team names in non-MLS-approved stylizations. This is a thing that the world definitely needed, and you can read the whole thing here.
Ah, Germany, the land of order and organization, logic and reason. You know, or not.
We bring to you this alarming tweet from Bundesliga club Hamburger SV:
Wildpinkler unerwünscht! Nicht in unser Wohnzimmer!
Der Ordnungsdienst verweist Wildpinkler gemäß der Hausordnung des #Volksparkstadions pic.twitter.com/DXVlQjJBf5
I’ve seen some s**t. I remember thinking Sam’s Army was about the coolest thing throughout the buildup to the 2006 World Cup. It was a group of Americans that were all soccer fans that got together to cheer for soccer — it was insane, it was wildly progressive and it was extremely dangerous.
Goalposts cannot feel pain. This I believe, and I believe it strongly. Goalkeepers, however, can surely feel pain, especially after they let in a goal off the goalpost and then headbutt said goalpost in frustration. That is what Cray Valley Paper Mills goalkeeper Jordan Carey did during his side's 5-2 loss to Ashford United.
What'd the goalpost ever do to you, man? (via @aufcfans) pic.twitter.com/qgXjm8MGsZ