Europe

Dutch journalist Michel Abbink has apparently got ahold of the results for the 2015 Ballon d'Or award, given to the best player in the world, and the reported winner will surprise approximately nobody: Lionel Messi.

This would be Messi's fourth Ballon d'Or win in the six years the award in its current form has been given out. Neymar and Cristiano Ronaldo are also finalists.

Abbink tweeted a photo that shows Messi as the male Ballon d'Or winner, and German Celia Sasic as the female winner.

Francesco Totti’s wife of 10 years, Ilary Blasi, has revealed to an Italian weekly that the great man is preparing to announce his retirement from football after 24 illustrious seasons with A.S. Roma. 

Goddammit. 

With Totti turning 40 next year, and having been sidelined by injuries throughout much of 2015, Blasi is quoted as saying, "...right now he is desiring something else."

Commenting on Zinedine Zidane, Real Madrid great Alfredo Di Stéfano once said, “he dominates the ball, he is a walking spectacle and he plays as if he had silk gloves on each foot.” Zidane, World Cup, European Championship and UEFA Champions League winner, took a little time out of his day to effectively demonstrate these observations on some unsuspecting French amateurs.

Hatem Ben Arfa used to play for Newcastle. Newcastle didn't really want him, so he left. Now he's at Nice in France, and he's doing stuff like this to people.

Hatem Ben Arfa Almost Goal

Ben Arfa tonight. Speechless. pic.twitter.com/e0iBAOWysD

— BreatheSport (@BreatheSport) January 4, 2016

On his way to a recent Real Madrid training, James Rodriguez reportedly led police on a 125 m.p.h. car chase, for whatever reason. This got us thinking about car chases, which, naturally, led to us thinking about The Fast and the Furious.

The we thought it would be fun to compare Real Madrid players to Fast and the Furious characters. So that's what we did.

Andy Yiadom must have, like, had a fight with his girl or something right before this game. That's the only thing we can think of to explain the level of confusion and misplaced rage demonstrated in this video.

Either that or he was on hold with Comcast.

The video starts out so normally, with Yiadom just standing there in the wall like a good boy. But then a Northampton Town player runs forward and then Yiadom runs forward and then AAAARRRRGGGHHHH ANGER AND RAGE.

Most of the time when you see a team bearing down on goal like Legia Warsaw is about to do in this next video, you expect to be thrilled. The speed of play involved pushes players to their absolute limits. Success is a matter of passing with pinpoint accuracy, maintaining composure, and knowing when to finish.  Anything less results in a wasted opportunity. 

After the rumours spread throughout the past weeks, the call has been made: Rafa Benítez is reportedly no longer Real Madrid’s coach after a draw in Mestalla.

Since we were kids, we've looked around for inspiring figures, people that we can imitate and learn from. And very often we tend to find them on a pitch or a court. The world of sports — and soccer in particular, due to its huge reach — is full of inspirational people for the fans.

But have you ever wondered who the biggest players admire? No matter how perfect we see them or how many qualities we project on them, they are as human as you and me, and they also grew watching other inspirational figures that pushed, motivated and taught them.

In celebration of the new year, we thought it would be fun to go around to the biggest names in soccer and ask them what their New Year's resolutions were. Unfortunately, none of the biggest names in soccer were available. So we made their resolutions up.

Sepp Blatter

"I don't have a New Year's resolution. My life is perfect and I am still the president of everybody—HEY! What are you doing with those handcuffs? Get away from me!"

Daniel Sturridge