England

Saturday's World Cup Qualifying In Europe Featured Three Wonder Goals

A lot of people like to moan about international football, but it can be really fun if you approach it with a no f**ks given attitude — just follow the example set by San Marino’s social media team during their qualifier against Germany. If you didn’t follow any of Saturday’s UEFA qualifying, here’s what you missed.

#1. Norway And Martin Odegaard Won’t Be At The 2018 World Cup

Nolito Does Not Like The Weather In England

Manchester City attacker Nolito wants out of England, the sooner the better.

He hasn't learned much of the language, just the basics like "good morning", "good afternoon" and "tomorrow". He also is no fan of the weather.

"My daughter's face has changed color. It looks like she's been living in a cave," he told radio station El Transistor. 

Manchester United Have Released Zlatan

The good news is this move makes Manchester United once again much easier to hate. That's right, Zlatan is gone, banished from Manchester United after 42 appearances, 28 goals and one horrible knee injury.

Obviously Zlatan is going to come back. He is Zlatan, after all. The question is where, and that is a question for another day. Today, we must wrap our heads around the fact that we actually kind of liked Manchester United for a bit there, when they had Zlatan and Pogba doing Zlatan things and Pogba things.

La Liga Wins The Major Trophies, But The EPL Is Still The Best League In The World

With Real Madrid having won its third Champions League title in four years, pundits and fans alike continue to make the case that La Liga has overtaken the other major European leagues as the most elite division in the world. 


This Robot Will Protect British People From Hooligans At Russia 2018

After all the commotion at Euro 2016, there have been concerns that Russian hooligans are going to attack British fans at the World Cup in 2018. Fortunately, that worry has been taken care of.

Meet AlanTim, a robot that, in addition to having two first names, can call the police on hooligans, use logic to reason with hooligans, anticipate conflics before they happen and even wear a bowtie.

To prove AlanTim's effectiveness, the Moscow Technical Institute made this video, in which AlanTim is shown interacting positively with a man who has tattoos.

England Are Preparing For War Against Scotland

Later this week, England will play Scotland in a World Cup qualifier/remake of Mel Gibson's hit movie Braveheart. As such, England trained with the Royal Marines in order to better prepare themselves for, uh, something. Siege engines probably.

What Are The Odds Of Newly Promoted Teams Staying In The Premier League?

With the 2016-17 Premier League season in the books, we now know what the league will look like next year. Relegated to the English Championship are Hull City, Middlesbrough and Sunderland. The three promoted sides include newcomers Brighton and Huddersfield and established EPL side Newcastle United.

Jamie Carragher Horror Tackle On Gary Neville

Sky Sports' best football pundits, Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville are known for their constant banter. The pair will make you forget that it's the end of your week by watching them snap at each other during SoccerAM.   

Pages