England

No one knows more about parking the bus than Jose Mourinho. Though in England he’s often credited with coining the phrase as a derisory comment about Tottenham playing defensively in 2004, Mourinho is a manager who is not afraid to go all-out defense to get a result.

On Wednesday, someone parked Mourinho’s bus.

Chicharito has finally made an appearance in an actual West Ham game. The Hammers' new number 17 took the field for the last 20 minutes or so of their friendly against German fifth-tier side Altona 93, which ended in a 3-3 draw.

Hopefully Chicharito can gain full fitness before West Ham's first league match, against Manchester United on August 13.

At Chivas, Chicharito wore number 14. At Manchester United, he wore number 14. At Real Madrid, he wore number 14. At Bayer Leverkusen, he wore number seven. For the Mexico National Team, he wears number 14. For West Ham, Pedro Obian wears number 14 and Sofiane Feghouli wears number seven, so Chicharito will wear number 17.

At the very least, it gives West Ham a clever little hashtag they can use.

Cue a thousand corny jokes about swiping right on transfers and Manchester United fans finally getting a decent match: Tinder has reportedly offered a deal to become Manchester United’s sleeve sponsor. 

We get it, we really do. You get drunk, you start to air some grievances at your employer and your colleagues, it happens. We don’t do that at The18 per se, because we love each other and you shouldn’t do that, but we totally get it when you’re a Sunderland employee. 

Can you imagine how stressful working for Sunderland must be? Every year, your company is sometimes weeks, sometimes days from going under. There’s no stability, and you’re micromanaged by David Moyes. You have to watch the company visionaries do things like spend $13 million on Jozy Altidore.