What do Lionel Messi Champions League goals number 99 and 100 have in common? Both humiliated Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois by rolling through his legs before nestling into the back of the net.
Lionel Messi scored the opener before Chelsea really touched the ball. Luis Suarez created Barcelona's second without touching the ball. Ousmane Dembele put Barcelona up 2-0 in the 20th minute on Wednesday, putting the Blaugrana up 3-1 on aggregate in their Champions League Round of 16 tie, and Suarez deserves much of the credit.
It’s an absolute disaster for Chelsea as three minutes of Barcelona possession straight from kick off has been ultimately rewarded with the opener from Lionel Messi.
Sergio Busquets and Ivan Rakitic dictated play in Chelsea’s half straight away, but there was no penetration before the ball was suddenly in the back of the net.
19 - After failing to score in his first 10 Champions League appearances against English teams, Lionel Messi has since netted 19 goals in his last 18 games. Haunt.
Thomas Muller just about nailed Wednesday's Bayern Munich-Besiktas outcome during a press conference prior to the match.
This is the most German trash talk ever pic.twitter.com/yW3f534COk
— Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) March 14, 2018
When you’re the most valuable club on the planet ($3.69 billion), the most popular (659 million followers) and the most successful in English history (42 major tro
Consider it karma for Jose Mourinho. The Special One used boring tactics to beat Liverpool on Saturday and tried similarly cynical tactics on Tuesday for Manchester United vs Sevilla. This time, the result was a stunning 2-1 defeat, the Red Devils going out in the Champions League Round of 16.
AS Roma did just enough to overturn their deficit against Shakhtar Donetsk in the Champions League Round of 16 on Tuesday, Edin Dzeko scoring the lone goal in the 52nd minute to put Roma through via the away goals rule, 2-2 on aggregate.
Shakhtar went about their business professionally in the opening 45, looking dangerous on the counter and assured in possession while Roma struggled to generate any chances of note.
Footballers aren't like regular humans. They live different lives, and operate in completely different planes of existence. To wit: in my capacity as a professional soccer jokester, I have never had to take to social media to deny wiping a booger on the shirt of a professional colleague. Not even at the company Christmas party.
Dani Alves, however . . .
One year ago, Barcelona came into the second leg of the Champions League round of 16 down 4-0 on aggregate to PSG. They left with a 6-5 aggregate scoreline after one of the silliest soccer games this professional soccer writer has ever seen. Sergi Roberto's goal broke PSG hearts and shuffled Barca into the quarterfinals to be beaten by eventual runners-up Juventus.
The real heroes here, though, are the referees. I seriously forgot how terrible both penalties Barcelona "won" were. Neither of those are fouls in a just universe.