Has there ever been a worse demonstration of goalkeeping in professional football without a goal being conceded? If Loris Karius had the luck of this dude, he would’ve kept a clean sheet in the Champions League final. First things first: what the hell is the keeper thinking with regards to the initial flight of the corner? Where is he going? Why is he spinning in a circle and then running out of bounds?
Horror movies are great, but horror movies have a general massive flaw: Once the cat’s out of the bag, they can transform into an hour-long slog of scream-filled monotony. But a proper slow burner, that’s where the true power of the genre lies.
I’m talking The Witch, AMC’s The Terror, Let the Right One In, Hereditary … where the suspense and a general feeling of unease gradually reverberate through your system before THE HORROR OF IT ALL is revealed.
In the 65th minute of tonight’s “friendly” between the USMNT and Mexico in Nashville, U.S. defender Matt Miazga triggered six minutes of absolute bedlam after finally getting the better of 18-year-old Mexican phenom Diego Lainez. The diminutive (5 ft 5.5 in) Club America winger was probably the highlight of an otherwise tame first half.
He absolutely diced U.S. captain Wil Trapp and feasted on him at one point. It was frightening.
36' ¡Dieeeeego Lainez volvió locos a todos!
Borussia Dortmund, without the injured Christian Pulisic, traveled to face Hannover 96 in the Bundesliga’s Friday night fixture. It was, if we’re being honest, a bit boring, with just three shots on target the entire match. Not even the second-half introduction of American Bobby Wood could spice things up, with the teams finishing in a 0-0 draw and few Dortmund vs Hannover highlights to speak of.
FC Agres took on Chindia Targoviste in Romanian second division action on Saturday with the scores level at 1-1 in the 82nd minute. During a fairly innocuous attacking situation in which a Chindia attacker appeared to be fairly well marshaled on the right flank, Agres manager Emil Sandoi (who played as a center back during his own professional career and was capped 30 times by Romania) pulled off the inexplicable.
Thanks to the always brilliant Twitter account @forgottengoals, we’ve been introduced to what’s surely one of the greatest goals of yesteryear.
I don’t know about you, but we like our United Soccer League action rowdy. We like the Las Vegas Lights, bangers from Efrain Alvarez and the plethora of ridiculous goals that were overlooked because the World Cup was going on.
Perhaps one of the most notable and compelling storylines of the summer in the football world has been the troubles bubbling on the red side of Manchester. The vibes in the Manchester United camp seem to be getting gloomier by the day thanks much in part to some particularly negative and nasty comments by manager Jose Mourinho.
The top Polish league Ekstraklasa began play this week.
WAIT! Come back!
Before you leave in boredom, let me remind you, the Polish league isn’t actually the worst league in the world. Well, OK, it’s one of the worst in Europe, not even cracking the top 20, but the Ekstraklasa is good for something.
Awful football! Entertainingly miserable soccer that is sure to make you laugh.
North Carolina FC and Charleston Battery played to a 1-1 draw in USL play on Saturday. Ataullah Guerra gave Charleston the lead in the 63rd minute, but NCFC’s Daniel Rios equalized in the 81st.
Seven minutes of second half stoppage time were added as North Carolina went in search of a winner, and it almost arrived in the 97th minute — if not for a goal-line clearance, a shot off the post, a save from the keeper and a myriad of other blocks/scrambles/deflections/madcap instances of defending.
You’re gonna want the sound on for this one, because the commentary delivers.