Animals

Adelaide United kept pace with Central Coast Mariners at the top of Australia’s A-League by defeating Macarthur 3-1 at Coopers Stadium on Wednesday. 

Highlights from the match include 20-year-old winger Al Hassan Touré decimating three defenders at once, a lovely finish by Ben Halloran and a feral cat that clearly just wanted to try "the new Parmi Burger at Macca’s" … I have zero clue what’s going on at McDonald’s franchises Down Under but I like it.

If you frequently use Twitter, then you know that a little Papillon dog named Gabby is trending once again. This speedy little dog stunned the world with her pace in 2019 and is once again on my timeline. The question must be asked, how fast is Gabby and is she faster than Kylian Mbappé?

The first thing to do in answering the question of how fast is Gabby is to review her 2019 footage. Gabby put on an electrifying performance at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Dare I say this performance was equally as impressive as Mbappé's game against Argentina at the 2018 World Cup?

A high-profile match between FC Zurich and Sion in the Swiss Super League was brought to a halt in the 40th-minute when a beautiful White Swiss Shepherd Dog appeared on the near touch-line before scampering down the wing.

As everyone wondered what to do next, FC Zurich chairman Ancillo Canepa appeared from his presidential suite, ran down the stairs past the substitutes and helped the dog find its way back down the tunnel.

During the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic with more people working from home, it’s not uncommon for house pets to join in on work meetings. My cat has jumped into my lap during countless Zoom meetings, either loving the attention or completely oblivious. Pets have also continued to pop up in soccer matches; we’re never upset to see a good boy or girl interrupt a game in search of a belly rub. 

But everyone has to get back to work eventually, and when an animal doesn’t leave you alone, drastic measures must be taken, as was the case as a dog was shown a red card this week in Serbia.

If I had a nickel for every time I wrote about fish soccer I would have ten cents, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. I tip my hat to any readers who understand that reference.

Obscure nods to TV shows aside, I once again bring you the joys of fish soccer. This time around the humans are pretending to be slippery salmons seeking scoring success. Carlisle United, in England’s League Two, must have a child orchestrating the team’s recovery sessions. The players engaged in the most ridiculous “recovery” exercise I have ever seen.