Amazing Goals

Here’s A Strike So Sweet That The Sugar Tax Should Probably Be Enforced

Southampton’s Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg did it. The Danish midfielder achieved the kind of hit that we all dream of — the one that’s smacked so clean that it doesn’t spin, it just arrows its way on a straight course into the corner. It’s the kind of pure strike that'll undoubtedly give way to someone commenting, “So what?! I do that every Sunday in my Men’s League!” and that’s because they have absolutely zero understanding of what’s just happened here.

The World’s Still Struggling To Understand Dimitri Payet’s Absurd Weekend Volley

31-year-old Frenchman Dimitri Payet scored the goal of the weekend during Marseille’s 4-0 beatdown of Guingamp in Ligue 1 action Sunday. The mercurial attacker has built a reputation for the spectacular over the last few years — including a sensational but ultimately ill-fated stint with West Ham — but his volley from nearly 25 yards out over the weekend was the sort of audacious finishing that the division hasn’t seen since Zlatan Ibrahimovic was representing PSG.

Obscure, Brilliant And Bizarre: The Best Goals Of The Week You Haven’t Seen

There is a lot of soccer played around the globe every week and every day. It’s hard to keep track of it all. But we here at The18 always have you covered for all the happenings around the world. With that in mind, we present to you the obscure goals of the week.

Watch: Zlatan Scores Goal No. 500 In Typical Zlatan Fashion — With Impossible Flair

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has always had a flair for the dramatic. His ability to contort his 6-5 frame, even at 36 years of age, has allowed him to score some of the most mind-rending goals you’ll ever see. Zlatan's 500th goal was more of the same.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored his 500th goal for club and country with a wild karate kick thing on Saturday night, becoming the third active player after Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo to reach that milestone. 

Érick Gutiérrez Scores Great Goal, Assists Chucky Lozano Within 5 Minutes Of PSV Debut

Welcome to the Netherlands, Érick Gutiérrez. 

Gutiérrez, a Mexico international midfielder, reunited with former Pachuca winger Hirving Lozano in the Eredivisie when PSV Eindhoven signed the 23-year-old just before the transfer deadline in August. 

He made his debut on Saturday, coming on as a substitute against ADO Den Haag. 

Five minutes later, he had assisted his compatriot and scored a cracking goal. 

How About A Lovely Little Goal From The Ageless Samuel Eto’o To Start Your Weekend?

He’s played for many of the best clubs in the world, including Real Madrid, Barcelona, Inter Milan and Chelsea. He’s been named the African Player of the Year a record for times and FIFA Player of the Year once. And Samuel Eto'o, at age 37, is still going strong. 

Samuel Eto'o is an ageless wonder. He’s scored more than 300 goals for club and country in more than 600 appearances. Though he’s since moved on from the glamor leagues of Spain, Italy and England, Eto’o is still scoring goals. Last year in Turkey’s Super Lig he recorded six goals in 13 appearances for Konyaspor.

PSG Gave Neymar And Mbappé The Day Off, So Julian Draxler Reminded Everyone How Good He Is

There was no Neymar, no Kylian Mbappé — not even a Tim Weah. But Paris Saint-Germain still had no problem securing three points on Friday, and this impressive Julian Draxler goal vs Saint-Etienne (and an assist) showed the German is still one of the top playmakers in the world, even if he struggles to crack PSG’s starting lineup.

Bayern Munich’s Lewandowski The Only American To Score In Today’s Women’s UCL Action

The 2018-19 UEFA Women’s Champions League Round of 32 kicked off Wednesday with the likes of Lyon (the three-time defending champion), Chelsea, Wolfsburg, PSG and Linkoping all recording first leg victories.

The most resounding scoreline was Bayern Munich traveling to Serbia to take on Spartak Subotica and winning 7-0. The opening goal of the match was scored by 33-year-old American Gina Lewandowski (no relation to Robert). She previously won this competition with Frankfurt back in 2008, but she has only one USWNT cap to her name.

Croatia’s Too Hungover To Deal With This UEFA Nations League BS

Excuse me, I have to type this so quietly because Croatia’s hungover as all hell at the moment, and I daren’t wake it. Today, Croatia opened its eyes in Elche before quickly closing them and muttering, “I think I’m going to die. I don’t think partying for 58 days straight was a good idea.” 

That’s the amount of time that’s elapsed between the nation’s runners-up finish at the World Cup and today’s 6-0 beatdown at the hands of La Furia Roja — a nickname which certainly sounds like the sort of Fireball Cinnamon Whisky product that’d do your head in. 

45-Year-Old Cuauhtemoc Blanco Scores A Golazo During Cruz Azul vs America Legends Match

A team of Cruz Azul legends played a friendly against Club America legends in a farewell match to Estadio Azul Saturday, which was America’s home between 1947 and 1955 and Azul’s ground between 1996 and 2018. Both clubs now occupy the Estadio Azteca while the Nuevo Estadio Azul is being built.

But this past weekend, the likes of Azul legends Carlos Hermosillo and César Delgado came up against Blanco, Luis Roberto Alves and Germán Villa to give the crumbling edifice a proper goodbye. 

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