Zlatan Ibrahimovic

The clash between Manchester United and Everton played out much like a GEICO commercial this Saturday at Goodison Park.

The script goes something like this:

"If you're Zlatan, you score ridiculous goals and get away with almost anything, including stomping on Séamus Coleman's head. It's what you do."

"If you're Marouane Fellaini, you come off the bench at 85' and get called for a stupid penalty at the 87'. It's what you do."

It’s the EFL Cup so everything must be taken with a grain of salt, but Manchester United’s dominate victory over West Ham in the quarterfinals saw United resemble a waking giant. It must also be said that West Ham’s performance was totally in line with their 2016-17 season so far — disastrous.

With only two minutes gone, the Red Devils opened the scoring after a brilliant exchange between Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. With both Paul Pogba and Marouane Fellaini suspended for the match, Mkhitaryan was handed a rare start and setup Ibrahimovic with a slick back heel.  

Zlatan Ibrahimovic frequently plays at being a conquerer, emperor and god while discussing his career. He’s discussed how his favorite movie is Gladiator, because he feels that, like Maximus Decimus Meridius, he will have his vengeance, in this life or the next.

“That’s how I felt, or wanted to feel,” said Ibrahimovic in his book, I Am Zlatan. “I wanted to stand up to the whole world and show everybody who’d doubted me who I really was, and I couldn’t imagine anyone who’d be able to stop me.”

Zlatan hasn't scored many goals lately, but the ones he has scored have been special. The Manchester United striker scored the 25,000th goal in Premier League history in a 3-1 win against Swansea Sunday.

Here's Premier League goal number 25,000:

I AM ZLATAN!! The star striker doubles @ManUtd's lead with a brilliant goal. https://t.co/90bRLep0gR

In a news conference following Monday’s tie with Liverpool, in preparation for their thursday night Europa League match, Mourinho made it clear to reporters that Manchester United have no “untouchables”. He contrasted it to his time at Chelsea, where in 2006 Moutinho described his squad as having nine players that would not be dropped.

It hasn’t been the dream beginning that many anticipated following three straight victories to open their 2016-17 Premier League campaign, and many within the Manchester United camp are already beginning to feel the heat.

Wayne Rooney has been in dire form, and his inclusion in the starting XI has been relentlessly questioned. Zlatan Ibrahimovic hasn’t scored a Premier League goal since September 10th. Paul Pogba has hardly justified his gargantuan transfer fee, and Jose Mourinho’s personnel choices, including the ostracizing of Bastian Schweinsteiger, have been criticized.

We know Zlatan likes having good teammates, that's what happens when you win the league pretty much every year of your career.

We did not know how much until we saw the first sentence of this ESPN article:

Mino Raiola has revealed that Zlatan Ibrahimovic jokingly threatened to "break his legs" if he had allowed Paul Pogba to join any other club besides Manchester United.