WTF

The18 Office Runs Out Of LaCroix During International Break, One Feared Dead

The18 videographer Mariel McCown was found face down at her desk Wednesday afternoon, diagnosed with something called LaCroix lethargy. 

Two days ago, McCown had told the office manager about the urgent lack of LaCroix in the office fridge, but little was done to remedy the situation. The result was an employee left without anything but water and coffee to drink for most of the day.

Fortunately, McCown responded well to a treatment of beer at 4 p.m., but we’re going to keep an eye on her energy levels throughout the remainder of the week.

Every Inch Of Zlatan Perfectly Portrayed In New Statue

These days, you’re not a football star if you don’t have a statue. Whether it’s been possessed by a demon or part of a prank, everyone from Cristiano Ronaldo to David Beckham has one. So of course, there’s a Zlatan statue now.

Gladbach Goes Top Of The Bundesliga After Mesmerizing Howler

Seven matches into the new Bundesliga season and there’s a surprise leader at the top of the table: Borussia Mönchengladbach.

The club hasn’t won the title since 1977, but after Bayern Munich slipped to a 2-1 home defeat to Hoffenheim yesterday, Gladbach took full advantage with a 5-1 victory over Augsburg to open up a two-point lead over Bayern at the top of the table. 

Pepe, Once A Great Enforcer, Now Has The Will Of A Coward

There was a time, not so long ago, when Pepe was one of the world’s fiercest defenders. He might not necessarily have been the best defender tactically and certainly wasn’t the cleanest of tacklers, but goddamnit he was not going to let you score without at least putting either a cleat or elbow into your cranium, usually both.

Alexis Sanchez Scores With His Ass, Gets Sent Off For Diving In First Inter Start

Alexis Sanchez, lol.

Alexis Sanchez, the once-brilliant-now-enigmatic Chilean, got the hell out of Manchester with a loan move to rejoin Romelu Lukaku at Inter Milan. To say the former Udinese, Barcelona and Arsenal winger’s time at Manchester United was a disappointment would be like saying the Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” is kinda catchy. 

But given a new chance with a new club, back in the league where he first became a star, Alexis Sanchez made a massive immediate impact, for better and worse.

Fans Are F*cking Pissed: #FixCareerMode Trends Hours After FIFA 20 Release

It’s FIFA Friday. And the fans are already pissed about FIFA 20 Career Mode.

Every year FIFA Friday — the date on which the latest edition of EA Sports’ mega-franchise is released — is welcomed by joy among the FUT fanatics. Usually, it’s also accompanied by hardcore Career Mode enthusiasts moaning about the lack of updates to their favored mode. 

Nice Teammate Suspected Of Stealing Kasper Dolberg’s $75K Watch

The 39th season of Survivor premiered on Wednesday night — yes, Jeff Probst is still forcing people to eat bugs after nearly two decades. The original reality/survival gameshow can teach important lessons that can be useful in life and even in the soccer world. Chiefly: Trust no one.

Kasper Dolberg has learned this the hard way after his $75K watch was stolen, with a teammate at French club Nice having become the top suspect in the theft. 

Pep Guardiola Defends Bernardo Silva Over Racist Tweet, Exacerbates Problem

Manchester City star Bernardo Silva has been the subject of controversy after tweeting an adolescent photo of teammate Benjamin Mendy alongside the logo of Conguitos, a Spanish candy. The logo is a candy mascot with blatantly racist caricatures.

The tweet said “Guess who?” along with some emojis.

Barcelona Folds After Being Hit With $321 Fine By Spanish Football Federation

FC Barcelona players arrived at the club’s Ciutat Esportiva Joan Gamper training center this morning only to find the doors locked and a piece of paper taped to the entrance reading: “El fin.” 

EFL Cup Match Gets 28 Minutes Of Added Time After Floodlights Fail 3 Times

It has to be the greatest third round fixture in the history of Carabao Cup. Wednesday’s meeting between Burton Albion and Bournemouth at Pirelli Stadium featured three floodlight failures, a minimum of 28 minutes of added time and a giant killing. 

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