WTF

Since the beginning of time humanity has sought to cover its dirty bits. 

From sewing fig-leaves together and crafting loin-cloths in the Garden of Eden to oozing swagger in a turtleneck and chain combo, humankind has always been on an insatiable quest to combine the elements of decency and drip. 

However, these pieces might fit right, feel good and come at an affordable price, but do they do enough to support your viewpoint on how implementing promotion and relegation throughout the American soccer pyramid would win us the 2026 World Cup? 

Jozy Altidore is sick of listening to Taylor Twellman. 

The Toronto FC striker took to Twitter on Wednesday to call out the former USMNT forward and current ESPN commentator, saying Twellman’s international career was “laughable.”

Ole Gunnar Solskjær went some way toward discarding his “Baby-face” misnomer on Monday with a savage dig at anyone that dares stray from mass conformity. Much like José Mourinho before him with his effusive praise of Scott McTominay’s “normal haircut,” Solskjær’s weird anecdote about dismissing a transfer target solely because of what they did with their hair shafts must have Paul Pogba raring to sign a contract extension at Old Trafford.   

The offside trap is a rarity in professional soccer these days. While youth soccer in the U.S. employs this strategy all the time, it’s rarely seen at the highest level.

The last time an offside trap was used on a big stage and worked correctly was when Japan caught nearly all of Senegal’s team napping in the 2018 World Cup.

Barcelona winger Ansu Fati became the new ambassador of the Cupra brand, and, as one of the benefits, he received a customized car. However, the 18-year-old still doesn’t have a driver's license, therefore he can’t drive his new car yet.

Ansu, one of the most promising youngsters at Barcelona, will receive the Cupra Formentor, whose lower-end car is priced at almost $50,000.

Lionel Messi is incomparable. Even the most ignorant of viewers — say a jury of 12 totally clueless individuals charged with determining the Man of the Match award — would undoubtedly be able to pinpoint his singularity of style and ability after watching 90 minutes. Still, the Argentine’s not without his copycats. 

After all, the sincerest form of flattery is to grow a red beard, work your hair into a short quiff and purchase a $400 Dolce & Gabbana shirt that looks like an Ed Hardy design.