Videos

Yikes. Seattle Sounders 2's Sergio Mota did a bad thing. A really bad thing. The bad thing he did was kicking LA Galaxy II's Adrian Vera in his crotch with both feet. Mota was rightly sent off, although that probably won't stop Vera from seeming a little jumpy and talking in a high-pitched voice than usual for the forseeable future. Getting hit in the nuts hurts. Getting kicked in the nuts, with two, cleated feet, must be the worst feeling in the world. Adrian Vera is pretty damn tough if he kept playing after that.

If it is hard out here for a pimp, then it must be truly cruel to be a defender. It’s their job to stand between some of the most talented people in the world and their goal: the goal. Needless to say, it doesn’t always end well. Defenders get nutmegged, dragged out of position, yelled at by fans and teammates alike, and lambasted by the media on a weekly basis. When they are good, people hardly notice them. It’s a thankless job.

FIFA communications director Walter De Gregorio appeared on Swiss television and told a joke. After that, he didn't have a job anymore. The Joke?

"FIFA President Sepp Blatter, the General Secretary, and the Communications Director are in a car. Who is driving? The police."

John Oliver took out about four minutes of air-time in Trinidad & Tobago to try to coerce Jack Warner, a native of the islands and former FIFA executive, to turn over incriminating documents to the feds. Warner, who has served as a FIFA Vice President and head of CONCACAF, had bought a similar slice of airtime on the same station to threaten the release of the documents. 

Basically, Oliver made a TV commercial to the effect of, "Do it! Do it!"

A Romanian child in a youth game scored a goal that reminded many of a certain diminutive Argentine.

Sergio Aguero and David Villa, as well as a few of their Manchester City and NYCFC teammates, partook in a friendly game of soccer tennis.

Moreno, apparently an Italian rapper, nutmegged Pavel Nedved during a charity game. Then Nedved retaliated in kind.

In an unprecedented act of outreach, Ronaldo has recorded and tweeted out a video in which he speaks about a very personal fight.

Nicolas Maduro, the President of Venezuela, endorsed Diego Maradona for the soon-to-be-vacant FIFA presidency.

Manel Vich has been announcing the Barcelona lineup since 1956.