Videos

This Indonesian Man Scored The Fastest Goal We've Ever Seen

Terens Puhiri is faster than you. He is faster than me. He is faster than all of us. Terens Puhiri can outrun the earth and the moon and the stars and, dare I say it, even time itself. He has run around solar systems and galaxies. He knows the answers to all of your questions, but he's too busy running fast to answer them. Is there life somewhere else in the universe? Do some quad stretches and find out. He ran through all the alternate realities and says this one's pretty weird, as far as realities go. Apparently there's one where kangaroos are worshipped as Gods.

Argentinian Defender Sent Off 9 Seconds Into Match

What can a person do in nine seconds?

-Ride a bull long enough for points to be awarded.

-Run Mike D'Antoni's offense.

-Quarter-mile drag race if your car is fast enough.

-Watch that one Miller High Life Super Bowl commercial.

-Decide that "The Chainsmokers" are awful.

-Make a decision that will have UNSEEN REPERCUSSIONS affecting THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

 

Early Goalkeeper Celebration Leads To Tragedy In Penalty Shootout

There are many idioms about celebrating too early, so just pick your favorite. Backspin is no one's friend. It will quite literally come back to hurt you eventually. It is cruel without discretion.

I hope this poor goalie learned his lesson. It's difficult not to get caught up in the moment in a situation like this, but you just have to finish the play. If you don't, backspin will come along and murder your dreams.

Pages