Upsets

Juventus Shares Plummet 25 Percent While Amsterdam Parties Through The Night

The Ajax love-in shows no sign of abating following Tuesday’s incredible 2-1 victory over Juventus in Turin. The party in Amsterdam raged through the night, while over in Italy Juventus business shares plummeted as much as a quarter in value. 

Ajax Plays 45 Minutes Of Heavenly Football And Absolutely Tears Juventus Apart

Ajax has advanced to the semifinals of the Champions League for the first time since 1997 after tearing Juventus apart with a glorious second-half display of footballing excellence that ultimately yielded the game-winning goal from captain Matthijs de Ligt in the 67th minute.

The Amsterdam-based club scored two at Juventus Stadium — which is an exceptionally rare feat for an away side — but it could’ve been four or five but for the goalkeeping of Wojciech Szczesny and an Ajax desire to combine on six backheels and three disguised reverse passes within the box before every shot. 

PSG Denies Own Title Celebrations By Clearing Own Shot Off The Goal-Line

Following Lille’s 1-1 draw with Reims on Sunday, PSG had a chance to clinch the Ligue 1 title with seven matches remaining by defeating eighth place Strasbourg at the Parc des Princes.

With the title just a matter of time, Thomas Tuchel elected to hand starts to the likes of Colin Dagba, Leandro Paredes, Layvin Kurzawa and a forward line spearheaded by Christopher Nkunku and Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting. 

Cheers Turn To Tears For Raúl Jiménez And Wolves Shortly After Mask Celebration

A meeting between two clubs desperate to cement commendable seasons with a shot at silverware produced a classic FA Cup semifinal today at Wembley Stadium. Wolves went 2-0 up by the 62nd minute before Watford came storming back to force extra time with a goal in the 94th minute, and then Hornets hero Gerard Deulofeu scored his second in the 104th to book his side’s passage to the final, where Manchester City awaits. 

The Scotland National Team Did The Most Scotland Thing Ever: Lost 3-0 To Kazakhstan

Scottish football has been the butt of the joke in the British Isles for quite some time now. The Scottish Premier League, or SPL, has been trying to fight the stereotype that Scottish football is terrible via an active YouTube page. The Scottish national team has been including new and talented young players that ply their trade in a diverse number of high level leagues across Europe in order to show that Scottish football is indeed quality.

Juventus Rests Ronaldo, Promptly Loses Quest For ‘Invincibles’ Status

Having won Italy’s Serie A title for seven consecutive seasons now, it’s obvious that Juventus did not buy Cristiano Ronaldo last summer in a bid to establish domestic dominance. The Old Lady spent nearly $130 million on the 34-year-old to finally land the prize that’s eluded them since 1996, the UEFA Champions League.

Neymar Faces Three-Game UEFA Ban For Telling Refs To “Go F*ck Yourselves”

As Manchester United wildly celebrated two ludicrously self-inflicted PSG errors and a contentious, VAR-influenced handball decision to advance to the last eight of Europe (we won’t begrudge Red Devil supporters after the life and times of David Moyes, LVG and Jose Mourinho, but if you thought Liverpool fans were getting annoying with the EPL title at hand, this is a stern reminder that United’s fanbase is built of the exact same stuff), PSG was left to rue another night of historical ineptitude. 

Gianluigi Buffon Is Cursed, Much Like An Ancient Mummy

Manchester United has traveled to Paris with a midfield anchored by Scott McTominay, Andreas Pereira and Fred along with a substitutes’ bench of assorted children and overturned a 2-0 deficit to eliminate PSG from the Champions League

The Great Real Madrid Crisis Of 2019: 5 Bold Moves To Get Back To Winning Everything All The Time

Real Madrid stayed at the top for 1,012 days. That’s probably at least 1,005 days more than any of us have managed (I’m not forgetting that week you found $20 in a rarely-worn coat pocket and someone brought bagels into the office). But now the great Real Madrid Crisis of 2019 is upon us, and HEADS WILL ROLL! 

Sergio Ramos Red Card Total Reaches A Quarter-Century

When you think about LaLiga records, you’re automatically drawn to things like Lionel Messi’s haul of 405 goals and counting, Cristiano Ronaldo’s 34 hat-tricks and personal ratio of 1.07 goals per game, and Messi’s single-season record of 50 goals. Those are records that rightly seem untouchable; these are spectacular times indeed. 

But in the land of Spain, in the confines of the Santiago Bernabéu, there is another record that’ll likely never be touched: Sergio Ramos’ collection of 20 red cards in LaLiga. Ramos' 20th in domestic play is a record across Europe's top five leagues.

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