Serie A

Say this aloud, very slowly: Juventus sold Leonardo Bonucci to AC Milan. Juventus (the biggest team in Italy and six-time defending champions) sold Leonardo Bonucci (one of the world’s best defenders and a future club captain) to AC Milan (a team rapidly shaping up to be a title rival in the coming season). Juventus. Sold Bonucci. To Milan. For €42 million. That would buy you roughly 70 percent of Kyle Walker. Say it aloud. Repeat it slowly. Juventus sold Bonucci to Milan. And still, it hardly makes any sense.

AC Milan’s incredible summer transfer window reached new heights Friday with the club signing former Juventus defender and Italian international Leonardo Bonucci for a reported fee of $45 million. Milan has now spent $237 million over the course of this window, the most ever for an Italian club.

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that at least you’re not the goalkeeper for Italian minnow Auronzo di Cadore.

The big, bad boys from the Serie A came to the little commune of just 3,671 in Italy’s Belluno region today. And Lazio did just what you might expect they might do against a tiny side like Auronzo. They won handily. 16-0. Not a very nail-biting performance.

Mino Raiola, the architect of Paul Pogba, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Henrikh Mkhitaryan's moves to Manchester United last summer (and Romelu Lukaku's this summer!), is about one thing only: getting his clients (and by extension himself) that money.

As we traverse the long, hot and boring summer, we find ourselves lost amid a desert of dullness — a boring expanse of time in which no football is actually played. No club football. No proper international tournament. Even the youth football has finished. Teams are barely beginning their preseason. Quite literally, there is no football to talk about. But the machine never ceases. Which brings us to the transfer market.

These days, the match-day experience is pretty swell. You can buy all the merch you want, stuff your face with high-cholesterol food and drink beer until you’re sick.

But you can’t get a lap dance — for now.

Carlo Tavecchio, president of the Italian Football Federation, wants to change that. He said he’d like to see stadiums fulfill other “social activities” outside of hosting matches once every other week.

He’s got a point, and many modern stadiums in America are being built with that in mind. 

Last campaign, Roma set a club record in Serie A for most points in a season. They had never reached 87 points before, even when winning the Scudetto. So, obviously, the summer has consisted of parting ways with the manager, the sporting director, the legendary club captain, their most productive attacker and at least one of their coveted center backs. Of course, looking at the departures on an individual basis, they sort of make sense. But it’s still a weird summer for Roma.