Peter Crouch has got jokes. This has already been established, but Crouch re-established it after the Champions League draw Thursday when he saw Tottenham, his former club, had once again been drawn with Real Madrid.
Real Madrid for spurs . If they don't have an idiot sent off early they have a great chance
— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) August 24, 2017
A glamour friendly between Real Madrid and Fiorentina (who knows) turned out to be a great training exercise for Cristiano Ronaldo on Wednesday. Ronaldo is currently serving a five-match ban for shoving the referee during the Spanish Super Cup, but his wonder goal helped Real defeat their Italian opposition 2-1 at the Bernabeu.
Cristiano Ronaldo has been WRONGED. By the SYSTEM. Cruelly banished from four La Liga matches for the minor offense of pushing a referee, Ronaldo will not allow himself to be broken so easily.
Ronaldo tweeted his displeasure at his UNFAIR sentence.
Mais uma decisão incompreensível. Injustiças que nunca me derrubarão. E como sempre voltarei mais forte. Obrigado aos que me têm apoiado. pic.twitter.com/O7Et9A8Edp
There’s nothing Cristiano Ronaldo loves more than himself. Who can blame him? He’s one of the best footballers in the world, looks like a more attractive version of Adonis and is the highest-paid athlete on the planet.
So when Ronaldo was asked to sponsor a company that was presumably modeled after his chiseled abdomen, he jumped at the opportunity as he would at a teasing cross or being asked to take off his shirt.
You can tell it's going to be a special season for Real Madrid. One stat proves everything:
Real Madrid have scored in 69 consecutive games in all competitions.
Most exciting attack in the #UCL? pic.twitter.com/O7lYaUO4Kl— Champions League (@ChampionsLeague) August 22, 2017
After flirting with relegation last season, Deportivo La Coruna were not expected to prove a very significant challenge for Real Madrid as they opened their La Liga campaign on Sunday, and the Estadio Riazor in Galicia proved to be a comfortable site to begin their title defense for Los Blancos.
Real Madrid are going to win La Liga. It's better to come to terms with this now so you can actually enjoy the season. If you go into the season thinking someone else might have a chance and Real Madrid open up a 10-point lead by Christmas, you are going to be disappointed. So ward off the disappointment. Barcelona are depleted and Atletico Madrid are plucky but outgunned. Real Madrid are going to win La Liga.
This is fine! Lots of people enjoy the Bundesliga even though they know Bayern Munich are going to win. You can still enjoy the season even if you know how it ends already.
Real Madrid’s 5-1 aggregate victory over Barcelona in the Spanish Super Cup wasn’t a Real marker, it was a proclamation: player for player, this is the strongest squad in the history of the game. No player on Real Madrid is irreplaceable, every player on Real Madrid is valued because they’re sensational.
The Royal Spanish Football Federation upheld Cristiano Ronaldo’s five-match ban on Wednesday, keeping the Real Madrid star out of Wednesday evening’s second leg of the Spanish Super Cup and the first four games of the La Liga campaign.
Ronaldo received two yellow cards in Sunday’s first Super Cup leg in Barcelona to be sent off early. His first came for taking his shirt off after scoring a brilliant goal. The second was when the referee deemed he took a dive in the box.
Cristiano Ronaldo is an incredible footballer, blessed with size, speed, strength, foot skiils and awareness that would be the envy of pretty much anyone. Luis Suarez is also blessed in all these categories, just not as much as Ronaldo.
There is one skill, though, in which Ronaldo will never match Suarez's unbelievable talent: acting.
Ronaldo and Suarez each attempted dives during Sunday's Spanish Super Copa first leg. Suarez won a penalty (which Lionel Messi converted), but Ronaldo was given his second yellow card and dismissed from the match.
So what went wrong?