Outrageous

It’s been more than two calendar years since the Chicago Fire last won an MLS road match. That’s 36 futile attempts at claiming three points dating back to their 1-0 victory over the New England Revolution on July 12th, 2014.

For a bit of perspective, Chivas USA (the defunct MLS club which folded after the 2014 season) experienced their last road win on that same date. It’s a staggering statistic that’s unbelievably damning for the club that’s won an MLS Cup (1998), MLS Supporters’ Shield (2003) and has won the US Open Cup four times — more than any other MLS club.

The Nigerian men’s soccer team has been training for the Olympic tournament in Atlanta for the last month. Now, with less than 36 hours before their first match against Japan in Manaus, the Nigerian team remains in their Atlanta hotel.

According to the BBC, an unpaid flight bill resulted in the airline refusing to take the team to Brazil.

I can see it now, the invitation letter fluttering down the chimney a la Hogwarts and gently nestling at the feet of former Canadian player turned China national beach soccer coach Ross Ongaro. 

Dear Mr. Ongaro,

We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at the 2016 Beach Soccer Worldwide Mundialito. You’ll play Portugal, Brazil, and the United States of America. This is not a joke. Best of luck, lads!

Sepp Blatter

You may remember that we previously wrote about CD Deportivo Leganes and their rather bizarre scratch-and-sniff kit. Now, you're probably thinking that it couldn't get any weirder than that. We have something to show you. 

See, for whatever reason, Spanish lower-league clubs seem to be in some sort of intense competition over who can make the most eye-punishing travesty of a kit. We've made fun of plenty of kits over the years, from all across the world. But the Spanish, well, they're just on another level. 

To say that Marc Wilmots underperformed as Belgium manager at Euro 2016 is akin to saying the USA men’s basketball team was off the pace at the 2006 Olympics or that the Republican Party hasn’t put their best foot forward for the 2016 presidential election. Wilmots screwed the pooch.

This has been the year of the underdog in soccer. From Leicester City in the Premier League to Wales and Iceland in Euro 2016, upsets have come to the fore. 

Soccer is the most democratic sport in the world. Once the players enter the pitch, there’s little the coach can do to upset the proceedings. The nature of the game lends itself to unpredictability — 90 minutes of continuous action where a single mistake or moment of genius can decide the game’s outcome. 

Every week, The18 takes the world's most frequently asked soccer questions and attempts to answer them. That way, when that clone of yours turns evil and tries to convince everyone that you're the evil one, your football knowledge will allow your friend to put a slug in his head, not yours. You know. Like in Star Trek. Or The Island. Man, Hollywood has used that plot device a lot. Anyways, this week: Why do soccer players dive? 

England took on Portugal today in an internatinoal friendly. The match was really more of a tune-up game for the imminent Euro 2016 tournament than anything else, and so both sides were looking to learn more about their players, try out some new things, and generally just finish off the day better than they started it.

Except for Bruno Alves. Bruno Alves almost killed Harry Kane.

"Forget me," says Abby Wambach in her retirement-celebration commercial, brought to you by Gatorade. "Forget my number. Forget my name. Forget I ever existed."

At the time, I argued that that particular action on the part of the fans was impossible, and Wambach made it even more impossible this weekend when she got arrested for duii (driving under the influence of intoxicants) in Portland.