Newcastle

Everton’s season has not been going as well as one would have hoped. Ronald Koeman struggled early in the season, and Sam Allardyce has not breathed much hope into the club either.

However, during their game against Newcastle United last weekend, Everton debuted the world’s first ever virtual match day mascot, and there was a heartwarming story behind it all.

With just a few weeks remaining in the 2017-18 Premier League season, we are quickly winding down towards one of the most anticlimactic final days of all-time. If Tottenham collapse, Chelsea might yet play themselves into the top four, and Southampton could still manage to avoid the drop — just look at what Newcastle have accomplished over the last four games.

Sunday’s 1-1 draw between Newcastle United and Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park kept both teams rooted in the Premier League’s 10-team relegation scrap, and perhaps that was the motivation for this pitch invader’s attempt to literally drown his sorrows on the field. 

The man’s antics included pouring beer all over his face, going on a short jog before getting absolutely truck-sticked by a vigilant steward and then offering a flurry of wanker gestures and Bronx salutes while being escorted from the ground. What a day out.

There was something we overlooked, fellow Newcastle United supporters. While we were busy putting all our eggs in the Amanda Staveley basket, we failed to realize that we are now entering a halcyon phase in our club’s history without the help of a petroleum-infused war chest. New boy Kenedy, freshly arrived from Chelsea on loan, has brought to our attention the catalyst of the Tyneside Renaissance: the Goal! The Dream Begins film.