Men

It’s official: MLS will have a first-time Cup champion on Saturday. The MLS Cup winner will be either the Seattle Sounders or Toronto FC, both teams making their MLS Cup debuts. The two sides will meet in the 21st MLS Cup on December 10, 2016.

Both clubs boast massive fan support that has, to varying degrees, suffered since arriving in MLS. After two straight years of huge player investment and stadium upgrades, Toronto enter as the favorites at home and under the majority of the pressure. 

Given the way in which David Luiz was tackled by Sergio Aguero at the weekend and considering the short fuse on Luiz himself, many people were expecting an angry reaction from the Brazilian. As it turns out, that couldn't have been further from the truth.

Mario Balotelli's bad reputation reportedly netted him one of the sweeter contract bonuses we've heard of.

Reportedly, a series of documents released by Football Leaks shows Balotelli had a clause in his contract that entitled him to a ￡1 million bonus each season if he was not sent off three or more times.

Balotelli was not sent off during his first season at Liverpool and spent the second season on loan at AC Milan.

It was always going to be difficult to match the success of his debut season with Bayer Leverkusen, but Saturday marked a new low in the professional career of Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez. The Mexican striker hadn’t scored a goal since October 1st, and he was looking for his first goal in seven Bundesliga matches.

With the scores level in the 88th minute of Leverkusen’s match with Freiburg, Chicharito stepped up to take the penalty that would end his goal scoring drought and reverse the fortunes of a Leverkusen club that had lost two consecutive Bundesliga matches.

Manchester United's 1-1 draw with Everton Sunday was noteworthy for two things Zlatan Ibrahimovic did.

The one that everyone is focusing on: his kicking Seamus Coleman in the head early in the second half.

Zlatan wasn't punished on the field for the incident, but his comments after the game could cause the FA to take a closer look.

The clash between Manchester United and Everton played out much like a GEICO commercial this Saturday at Goodison Park.

The script goes something like this:

"If you're Zlatan, you score ridiculous goals and get away with almost anything, including stomping on Séamus Coleman's head. It's what you do."

"If you're Marouane Fellaini, you come off the bench at 85' and get called for a stupid penalty at the 87'. It's what you do."

Goalkeepers are odd. Anyone who’s ever been forced into the position by a lack of numbers can attest that it is a lonely, nerve-racking experience back there, but that’s the life they chose. 

Individual awards have an extreme preference for goal scorers, and a goalkeeper has only ever been awarded the Ballon d’Or on a single occasion — that being Lev Yashin in 1963. 

However, these goalkeeping records show the remarkable achievements that the position has contributed to the game.

You might be angry with the headline, but it’s the truth. It’s not click bait, a click bait article, by definition, doesn’t give you the information promised in the headline. Theo Walcott, as now certified by the Guinness Book of Records, has better control than Lionel Messi. It's the truth, I mean, if you can’t trust the Guinness Book of Records, who can you trust?  

So it’s a subjective form of control, and by subjective I mean it’s based off of who can control a ball dropped from a ridiculous altitude, but it’s a form of control no less.