Men

Each narrative in the English Premier League has a nauseatingly long lifespan until it utterly annihilates itself — it’s annually cyclical, like the depiction of a serpent eating its own tail. We belabor the same statistics, the same trends and the same memes until we’ve had our fill, proceeding to damn them out of existence like a child pop star whose career of cultural martyrdom has run its course.

Andrea Pirlo was left out of the NYCFC lineup for the third straight week despite receiving a salary ($5.915 million) that’s greater than his entire club’s actual salary cap ($3.85m). 

La Liga took another step towards the finish line with Barcelona swatting aside Las Palmas, 4-1, and Real Madrid dispatching fourth-placed Sevilla 4-1 at the Bernabeu on Sunday.

The result saw Barcelona stay atop the La Liga table on head-to-head record, but Real Madrid maintain their vital game in hand. Barcelona’s final match is on Sunday against Eibar, while all eyes will be on Real Madrid in Galicia on Wednesday when they travel to play Celta Vigo before finishing away to Malaga.

Alexis Sanchez doubled down on his message of hope to fans today after he scored in Arsenal's 4-1 thrashing of Stoke City. After hooking up with Mesut Özil in the first half to provide an assist, Sanchez scored easily himself in the second half before asking to be subbed off due to a thigh injury. But not before celebrating his goal with this cryptic message for fans: