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We Counted The Number Of Times Ronaldo Touched His Nose While Waiting To Take His PK (It’s A Lot)

Four minutes and 32 seconds elapsed from the time referee Michael Oliver pointed to the spot to the moment the ball struck the back of the net from the force of another epic Cristiano Ronaldo penalty kick. 

Hate Makes Him Unstoppable, So It’s No Surprise That Ronaldo Is Currently The World’s Best

Cristiano Ronaldo is probably, no, scratch that, he is the most hated player in soccer right now. I challenge you to name me someone more polarising, I dare you. But, what makes him so easy to dislike? 

Well, for starters, the guy has a body that looks as if the Greek god Zeus hand carved it himself. I mean, seriously, I know most of us are out of shape, but there’s no need for Ronaldo to continually take his shirt off in celebration to remind us all of how ridiculously jacked he is. It's not fair. 

USMNT MLS XI vs. European XI: Who Would Win (Or Would It Be A Scoreless Draw)?

We just couldn’t help ourselves. With just over 60 days to go until the release of the most anticipated book since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, we had to celebrate Bruce Arena’s magnum opus, What’s Wrong with US?: A Coach’s Blunt Take on the State of American Soccer After a Lifetime on the Touchline (so blunt), by revisiting the former USMNT manager’s favorite dilemma — the MLS cohort versus their "hotshot" European counterparts. 

Roma's Commentator Hilariously Screams His Head Off After Manolas Goal

Roma completed one of the biggest comebacks in Champions League history by overcoming a 4-1 deficit after the first leg in Barcelona. They advanced to the semifinals on away goals after winning the second leg 3-0. When Manolas headed in the game-winning goal everyone (except Barca fans) went crazy: the players, the coaches, the fans, but the best reaction came from Roma’s commentator. This man was screeching like a little kid who got Nintendo 64 for Christmas.

This Just In: Champions League Canceled In Lieu Of Ronaldo Highlight Reel

We interrupt this year’s Champions League to inform you that this year’s competition has been canceled. In lieu of a tournament to determine the best team in Europe, UEFA has installed a series of challenges to show how amazing Cristiano Ronaldo is. Forget Real Madrid vs Juventus, Roma vs. Barcelona or Liverpool vs. Manchester City, all we really need is CR7.

Ronaldo haters, turn away now. 

Watch The Terrifying Trailer For Jason Statham's New Movie "The Meg"

PLOT SUMMARY: 

An international superstar footballer (Lionel Messi), having nutmegged everyone and everything there was to nutmeg in his career, embarks on a quest to nutmeg a mermaid. He travels to the deepest parts of the ocean, places humanity hasn't even explored yet, because that is where mermaids live.

He befriends a team of scientists on a submarine in hopes they can get him close enough to a mermaid to nutmeg it.

Exclusive: Glossary Of Pep Guardiola's Hand Signals From The Stands

DO NOT SHARE WITH ANYONE OUTSIDE THE MANCHESTER CITY COACHING STAFF AND PLAYERS, THANK YOU.

-Pep

Pinky in the air

Switch to a 4-4-2.

Making a "W" with arms on top of head

Switch to a 4-2-2-2 Brazilian box.

The "Hook 'Em" sign

Switch to a 4-2-3-1.

Hands spreading apart

Play closer to each other (this is trickery).

Hands gone closer together

Spread out (this is also trickery).

Hand to ear like a telephone

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