Dear Guatemala Football Federation,
I would like to personally offer a sincere danke schoen thank you for embarrassing my team Friday night in Guatemala City, beating us 2-0, and thus forcing me to make several changes to our squad. I learned so much from that butt-kicking on your home soil and that is precisely why we were able to beat you 4-0 in Columbus, Ohio Tuesday night. So, again, thank you!
Gary Neville's illustrious term as manager of Valencia Football Club came to a close Wednesday, with the Englishman being kicked to the curb less than four months into his tenure.
It's true that Neville's Valencia experience was mostly bad for everyone involved, but there are two sides to every story, and there's a solver lining behind every cloud. With that in mind, we thought we'd compile some of the good moments from Gary Neville's ultimately doomed Valencia manager-ship, and share them with you here.
According to a report from the AS in Spain, David Beckham is looking to make Roberto Carlos manager of his new Miami MLS expansion club. The two spent four years together at Real Madrid and have remained great friends ever since.
Lionel Messi won't get out of Diego Maradona's potbellied, cocaine-snorting shadow until he wins a World Cup, which may partly explain why Messi hasn't spoken to Maradona since the 2010 iteration of the tournament, in which Maradona coached Argentina.
Given that Maradona has pretty much failed at everything (including the aforementioned Argentina-managing) he's tried since he won a World Cup himself back in 1986, we regard this as a good decision.
Gerardo Bedoya was sent off 46 times in his senior playing career. The 40-year-old Colombian is widely regarded as one of the dirtiest players of all time, and with that number it's easy to see why.
That number is also why what happened during Bedoya's managerial debut believable, and even expected.
Bedoya, the BBC reported, managed to get himself sent off just 19 minutes into his managerial debut because of course he did.
Argentinian manager Ricardo Lombardi is not what you'd call "fan friendly." Lombardi, who manages Sarmiento de Jarmin, the last-place team in the Argentinian first division, was apparently shown on video fighting with some Sarmiento de Jarmin fans, who evidently took issue with their beloved club being last in the Argentinian first division.
Whatever the spark was, it got ugly real quick between the fans and Lombardi, with some players reportedly involved as well.
Inverness Caledonian Thistle coach John Hughes really knows how to celebrate a goal. The problem here is Inverness midfielder Liam Polworth doesn't know how to get out of the way of John Hughes when Hughes is celebrating a goal.
(Aside: Inverness Caledonian Thistle is our second favorite team name in the Scottish Premiership, trailing only Heart of Midlothian.)
Hughes was so happy about the goal he gave Liam Polworth what we would describe as a "Scottish love tap" and a few little kidney-aimed rabbit punches and sent the lad on his way.
Zinedine Zidane showed an impressive ability to manage Real Madrid’s notoriously fickle fan base during a press conference on Monday.
Louis van Gaal has hit the screens of millions of people this weekend and this time it wasn’t because his team lost again. Manchester United won, but that's not the reason for Van Gaal's bog weekend either.
During the game against Arsenal, the former Barcelona coach was very upset after the referee said Manchester United fouled Arsenal's Alexis Sánchez, something Van Gaal didn’t think was correct. So after a few seconds of ranting the assistant referee, he dropped himself. And yes, It was as awesome as you can imagine.
Here’s the Vine of Van Gaal diving against Arsenal:
Louis van Gaal is back. Technically, he never left, but this season has been a parade of misery for fans watching him. He just seemed so serious, it was like he actually gave a f***. If there's one thing we know about the man who was once described, accurately, as a "cross between a weirdly angry pastry chef and a weirdly angry pastry," it's that he gives no f***s.
Remember when he bopped the camera? Louis van Gaal did not get anywhere near bopping cameras earlier this season.