Jose Mourinho

Marcus Rashford’s Greatest Game Puts Huge Dent In Chelsea’s Title Bid

Who would bet against Jose Mourinho in a situation like Sunday’s? The man’s the ultimate party spoiler. He comes to every massive occasion equipped with his tactical wet blanket and extinguishes the feel good factor around the place.

Mourinho adopted a maniacally fluid 3-1-4-1-1 with Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Daley Blind and Michael Carrick starting on the bench. Matteo Darmian’s place on the left side of defense served to make Pedro’s life a living hell, and Ander Herrera was instructed to do this same with Eden Hazard. 

The Case For Marcus Rashford Being Afflicted With Lycanthropy (He’s A Werewolf)

Marcus Rashford has got it. That "it" is the unexplainable quality that makes you standup every time he’s on the ball. He’s going to do something or try something positive, he’s going to take on his defender and it’s going to work. But this season, it just hasn’t come off as often as it should.

Jose Mourinho Really Hates Luke Shaw

I don't know what Luke Shaw did to Jose Mourinho to make the Special One so angry at him, but it must have been really bad.

Here's what Mourinho said about the young defender earlier this week:

“It’s difficult for Shaw to be on the bench because I cannot compare him with Ashley Young, with Darmian, with Blind. I cannot compare the way he trains, the way he way he commits, the focus, the ambition. I cannot compare. He is a long way behind.”

Jose Mourinho Says Buying Neymar Would Be Like Breaking Into A Safe

Jose Mourinho accidentally let slip a lack of knowledge concerning pop culture and heists while talking about the possibility of Manchester United signing Neymar. I'll explain.

Mourinho's quote, from ESPNFC:

Bastian Schweinsteiger Leaves Manchester United For Chicago Fire And MLS

The Chicago Fire have signed 32-year-old German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger from Manchester United, handing him one of the top 10 biggest contracts in the league. Schweinsteiger could make his Chicago debut as early as April 1 against Montreal.

According to FOX Soccer, the transfer fee is around $4.5 million. Schweinsteiger joined Manchester United from Bayern Munich back in July of 2015 for almost $10 million, but he struggled to make an impact at the club under Louis van Gaal. 

Jose Mourinho Does Not Know The Alphabet

Jose Mourinho generally gives off an air that he thinks he's the smartest man in the room. We guess even the smartest man in the room forgets the alphabet sometimes.

Jose Mourinho Says Manchester United Got A Lotta Enemies

Speaking with the BBC, Jose Mourinho says that he "found a sad club" when he arrived at Manchester United. He also said, "We have lots of enemies. Normally it would just be Rostov but we have a lot more." Mourinho then did his own version of Drake's "Energy" off of If You're Reading This It's Too Late (not really).

(Play the video, but substitute the lyrics below.)

What Would Manchester United Be Without Zlatan Ibrahimovic?

It could be argued that this was Jose Mourinho’s masterplan all along against Rostov at Old Trafford, to sit back, control possession against an ultra-defensive setup and just let Zlatan Ibrahimovic do his thing.

It worked, and no one will remember this game tomorrow. Manchester United are through to the quarterfinals of the Europa League thanks to a beautiful assist from Ibrahimovic. United required a phenomenal save from Sergio Romero at the death to avoid extra time, and everything else made you want to be crushed by the skull of Marouane Fellaini. 

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