Benfica needed either a win against Napoli or a Besiktas loss to Dynamo Kiev Tuesday to advance to the Champions League knockout stage. They lost, 2-1, but Besiktas lost even worse (6-0).
The Portuguese side's lone goal was scored by Mexican international striker Raul Jimenez, who showcased just about the best-case scenario for the high press with his tackle and goal.
The rejuvenated heroics of Mario Balotelli saw the Italian striker score six goals in his first six Ligue 1 matches for Nice, propelling the club to the top of the table over the likes of Monaco and Paris Saint-Germain.
Swansea legend Lee Trundle appeared in a charity match for a team of Swansea all-stars on Sunday night, and the 40-year-old, who serves as a club ambassador for the team, scored with an outrageous penalty routine that Bob Bradley’s senior side would be unable of replicating.
Trundle pretended to be tying his boot lace, but somehow managed to get an extraordinary amount of power behind his cheeky toe poke.
What is a buzzy soccer website to do when it runs out of hyperbole?
I mean, that's our lifeblood over here. No goal can simply be "good". It has to "melt your face off" or "bend space-time" or maybe even "make you piss yourself."
That is how goals are described these days, but, friends, we have no hyperbole for this one. It's all true. This is it.
This is the greatest goal we've ever seen.
The clash between Manchester United and Everton played out much like a GEICO commercial this Saturday at Goodison Park.
The script goes something like this:
"If you're Zlatan, you score ridiculous goals and get away with almost anything, including stomping on Séamus Coleman's head. It's what you do."
"If you're Marouane Fellaini, you come off the bench at 85' and get called for a stupid penalty at the 87'. It's what you do."
Here’s the latest from from the Qatar Stars League: Xavi Hernandez is still unexplainably good at football. The 36-year-old Catalan scored a preposterous volley for Al Sadd, the difference in their 1-0 victory over Al Khor.
With his entire being facing the touchline, the midfield maestro allowed the ball to run across his body and onto his right foot. He then somehow managed to contort himself just enough to direct a right-footed volley inside the far post.
Baroka grabbed a late draw against the Orlando Pirates in South Africa's PSL after their goalie joined the attack and scored with a bicycle kick. Yes, that's right. Goalkeeper equalizer. At the death. With a bicycle kick. We have to seperate those words out like that because they just don't make sense in a sentence.
America hold a slender advantage heading into the second leg of their semifinal with Necaxa after scoring a vital away goal and earning a 1-1 draw.
However, if this match was anything to go by, the return leg in Mexico City will feature two evenly matched sides, and Necaxa will still believe that the final is within reach.
Tigres are one slip-up free home game away from the Liga MX finals. They defeated Leon 1-0 in the first leg on the back of an Andre-Pierre Gignac goal.
The Andre Pierre-Gignac goal that has @TigresOficial on top. pic.twitter.com/tBk9DIHqx8
— Jonny Rico Aviles (@Jonyrico) December 1, 2016
Before we get to the game, can we just talk about the atmosphere in Toronto last night? That was one of the best atmospheres for a sporting event I have ever seen. It was raining, but also smoky because Toronto fans kept setting off flares in the stands.
Honestly, we didn't know Canadians could get that rowdy. Good for them.
The atmosphere was good and the match, if anything, was even better. This was not a well-played soccer game. It was, however, a good soccer game, in terms of total chaos and excitement. Here's what happened: