Highlights

Per Mertesacker is a giant of a soccer player. Giants aren’t known for their agility.

That didn’t stop the 6-6 German from scoring his version of an overhead kick in Arsenal’s first preseason friendly of the new season on Thursday in Sydney, Australia.

The BFG’s goal overshadowed record-signing Alexandre Lacazette’s Arsenal debut. The French striker scored, but who needs a $60 million striker when you can throw Mertesacker in at forward?

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that at least you’re not the goalkeeper for Italian minnow Auronzo di Cadore.

The big, bad boys from the Serie A came to the little commune of just 3,671 in Italy’s Belluno region today. And Lazio did just what you might expect they might do against a tiny side like Auronzo. They won handily. 16-0. Not a very nail-biting performance.

The U.S. Open Cup didn’t disappoint on Tuesday, with Sporting KC and FC Dallas combining for three red cards and three extra-time goals in a wild game at Children’s Mercy Park in Kansas City, Kansas. 

The home side prevailed 3-0 despite going down a man in the 15th minute. The full highlights are worth the watch:

Mexico fans were not super excited with the way El Tri ended their run at the Confederations Cup. A 4-1 defeat to Germany in the semifinals followed by a 2-1 defeat to a Cristiano-less Portugal in the third place game left most folks feeling Mexico should have been more competitive.

Mexico were, however, still capable of moments of magic, as Marco Fabian proved with the consolation goal against Germany, which was named the goal of the Confederations Cup.

Elias Hernandez had himself one helluva time on Sunday night against El Salvador, scoring a goal with a vicious volley and assisting on both Hedgardo Marin and Orbelin Pineda’s strikes. 

El Salvador pulled one back through Nelson Bonilla to briefly level the match at 1-1 in the 10th minute, but Mexico were deserved winners with a controlled display of mesmerizing passing. El Tri maintained 66% of possession while completing their passes at a 90% clip, including 82% in the attacking half.